


Who Is Peggy Carter?

by Jarvis_and_Blueberries



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Hurt Tony, I'm sorry for the slow updates, Memory Loss, Parent Death, Peggy Being Amazing, Slight AU Timeline, Stane Is An Awful Human Being, young Tony
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-03
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-07 10:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4260090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jarvis_and_Blueberries/pseuds/Jarvis_and_Blueberries
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where he forgets having met someone by the name of Peggy, and he's sorry he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Night He Can't Forget

**Author's Note:**

> So, I had some questions: Did Tony know who Peggy was? I mean Howard and Peggy were obviously friends, so the question bares... Did Tony have interactions with her? Why didn't Tony bring it up? I know we only get a short snippet into his interactions in the Avengers, but what about all the other films? No reference to Aunt Peggy whatsoever. Which seems extremely interesting considering that after Howard and Maria die I see Peggy stepping up some to take care of her close friend’s son. So why didn't she? My theory is this: Obie is an @$$. Now that was a long rant. Sorry about that. Enjoy my take on why, how, when, and what.   
> Oh and before I forget, this is slightly AU since Tony's parents die slightly sooner than in the actual MCU timeline. It makes sense for the story, promise. If he was older then this wouldn't make sense and there would be less feels. Sorry for any spelling errors! Enjoy!

_"Auntie? Auntie!" Tony jumped out of bed and ran to his beloved aunt. It was late at night, and to his five year old mind it hadn't made sense at first to open his eyes and see her standing at the doorway of his room. But he didn't care, his aunt was here! He hugged her and she dropped to her knees to return the hug. He always loved it when she was here._

_"Tony, love," Her voice sounded sad, like when she talked about her Captain. He didn't like to see her hurt. He pulled away from the hug to take a look at her. Her eyes were puffy and red, and her cheeks were tear stained. Even at five, he knew something was terribly wrong. He was a genius after all._

_"What's it? What's wrong Auntie?"_

_"Tony, your Daddy, your Mommy, they..." Auntie looked at him so hurt and sad and hugged him tight. So very tight. Again, he thought about how she only looked like that when someone brought up Captain America._

_"Auntie, what's wrong?"_

_"Sweetie, I'm afraid, I'm afraid that your parents are not coming home."_

_"What? Why? Did I make Daddy mad again? I told him I'd be more careful of his things from now on. I-I-I didn't mean to mess with the blue drawings." The boy was trying to rake through his him for anything else he might have done wrong recently and he couldn't find a bad enough reason for his Daddy to leave again, and definitely not a reason for Mommy to leave. It made him feel desperate to fix it._

_"Wait, honey," Auntie moved so that he was facing her, looking at her with his face in her hands straight in the eyes. "No, babe, this is not because of you. Not one thing of this your fault. Nothing. Things-Things, they happen and there isn't, not one thing that we can do about it. Not any of it.”_

_"Why then? Why isn't Mommy coming home? She always comes home. Daddy don't always but Mommy does. I want Mommy!"_

_"Tony, look at me, Tony look." He raised his tear filled eyes to her. "They didn't leave because they wanted to. Tony, do you know what death is?" She looked like she was trying hard to explain something, so he stopped and took a deep breath and thought for a minute._

_"Is that when they go to sleep forever?"_

_"Yes, yes, they sleep, honey, and they didn't do it by choice, or because they don't care about you, it's not something people can control, they ha-"_

_"But Daddy never even sleeps!" He knew that because Mommy was always complaining or joking about it with Jarvis or Obie._

_"Tony, your parent had an accident, a car accident. That's what made them... that's how they... honey, that's how they went to sleep."_

_"But, I want my Mommy. My Daddy... he promised to... They were gonna... Auntie, I don't want my Mommy to be asleep forever. Does Mommy have a cover? She gets cold easy. She's going to be cold and she and Daddy don't like the cold." Then Tony realized something, it was a car accident. Jarvis always drives Daddy places. Where was Jarvis? That’s when he lost it. “Auntie? Auntie, no. No, no, no, no! Where is he? Where is Jarvis, where is Jarvis?! Jarvis!”_

_"Tony, it's okay,” She said when the boy started struggling, “baby, breath. Jarvis. Jarvis is here, he’s downstairs taking care of a few things, it’s okay I’m with you. Alright? Always. Your parent may be gone but I'll be with you. We're here for you, yes, Tony? Do you understand that? We'll be here for you, always."_

_"Yes."_

_"Okay, honey, do you-can I stay with you tonight? Would you be alright with that?"_

_"Yes, don't leave me too, please?"_

_"I won't."_

_"Auntie? Did it hurt?" His question was met with silence. "Auntie?"_

_"Did what hurt, honey?" Her voice was tense and Tony wasn't sure why._

_"Mommy, and Daddy. Did it hurt them to go to sleep?"_

_"I-I don't know, love. I don't know."_

_"Obie, he told me it hurts sometimes. When the people go to sleep forever. I hope it didn't hurt them." Tony snuggled into her closer, trying to feel his Auntie's warmth, and breathed in her scent, some flower that wasn’t roses. He tried to forget that his parent were gone forever._

_"I hope so too. Get some sleep Tony, I'll be here when you wake up."_

_"Auntie?"_

_"Yes, Tony?"_

_"Could you promise me something?"_

_"What is it?"_

_"That you'll stay with me forever. Can you do that for me? You and Jarvis. Can you two stay with me? Not leave me like Mommy and Daddy had to... I don't want you to."_

_"We'll stay with you, love. We're not going anywhere. Not Jarvis or I. We're going to keep you safe."_   
  


* * *

 

  
Tony woke with a start. He had the dream again. He wasn't sure what it was, to be honest, he would always forget it as soon as he woke up. It wasn't like his dreams about New York, where he couldn't breathe, where he wanted to scream; the feel of falling. It wasn’t like his nightmares of Pepper, failing to catch her. The guilt that consumed him then wasn't what he was feeling now. It also wasn't like his nightmares of losing everyone he cared about, Happy, Pepper, Rhodes, his Super-Friends, all because he did one stupid thing or another. Those were the worst. They were filled with pure and utter terror that consumed him upon waking up, worried they wouldn't be there. This dream was different. It wasn't a dream he couldn't forget, but rather one he couldn't remember.

It left him feeling empty, full of the feeling of forgetting when he felt like he should remember. This dream left him feeling like he missing something important. Like he should have held harder to something he let go of. The feeling of being lost. He’s had this dream so many times. Still he can’t deal with it.

"Are you okay, Tony?" Pepper stirred next to him, shifting to face him.

"Yes, yeah, just... A dream?" He wasn't sure what to tell her, he never was sure, that's why he never told her, or anyone.

"Is that a question?"

“No, no, it’s just that- it wasn’t a bad dream. It was a really good one. About you.” Tony didn’t know what to say to not worry her. So he lied.

“Are you okay?”

"I’m okay Pep, it’s just you know how rare these good dreams are. Come on let’s go back to sleep.”

He shifted so that he was hugging her. Her back to his front. And he was glad to just be with her. Glad that his most recent nocturnal adventure didn't make him replay the feeling of losing her. Glad that it didn’t resurface any type of guilt. He could hear her breathing in the dark and felt grateful that this woman loved him. That he could be with her. Have her with him, near him, looking over him all the time, every day. The truly and purely good thing in his life was her and he loved her with all his broken and battered and scratched and infinitely scarred heart. He felt her slipping, and he knew even before it happened that he'd remain a couple hours awake trying to remember until sleep claimed him.


	2. Forget It, I'm Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has to deal the next morning with his nightmare, but he doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update. Comments, complaints, and tips are welcome. =)

_"_ _How is my favorite nephew?_ " _She came into his room and helped him adjust his tiny suit jacket. Something he'd found out recently is that he didn't like suits._

 _"Okay, I guess. Do I have to go Auntie?" Today he had to go to what the adults were calling a "funeral". His parent's funeral. And he wasn't at all okay with it. They were going to put his parents in closed off wooden beds called "caskets" and then put them in a hole in the ground to continue sleeping. What he didn't understand was how he and Jarvis and Auntie and everyone else could say goodbye to them, because the thing was that they couldn't hear any of them anymore. Besides, he already said bye to them, before. Before they left and had the accident, he said bye to them, which counted didn't it? And he said bye to them every night alone in his room and he'd whisper his love to them and hope that his Mommy and Daddy would hear him and wake up, his soft_ 'I miss you Mommy, your hugs Mommy, come back Daddy.' _And maybe, hopefully, they'd hear him and come back. But for some reason he was supposed to say bye to their bodies, cold deaf bodies, in front of a lot of people. People who worked with his dad, with Obie, with his Auntie. People he didn't know. He'd rather do it alone in his room. Or maybe with Jarvis or Auntie there, not with these people._

_"I'm afraid so honey, I'll be with you the entire time ok? Now, won't you give your Auntie a hug?" She was height leveled with him and she hugged him and he hugged back tightly, never wanting to let go. He could smell her sweet smooth scent, so soft, lilies maybe, or some type of flower. Not roses. "We'll be leaving soon. Just remember I'll be with you."_

_"Jarvis is going to be there right?" He knew Jarvis would be there, Jarvis himself had told him so many times. But he still needed to hear it._

_"Yes, love, he will be there as well."_

_"What about Obie?" Tony knew his Auntie didn't like Obie much, he never knew why but they were always tense and careful around each other._

_"He will be there too, babe." His Auntie smoothed his hair down and took his face in her hands and kissed his forehead and hug it to her chest once more. He loved it when she pressed him close, kinda like his mommy does-did, it made him feel warm and safe._

* * *

 

Tony went to the communal floor’s living room to find Clint and Natasha playing video games, it was too early for this. Pepper had a meeting today at 7 O’clock sharp and woke him when she was heading out at around 6:30-something, hence his sleep walking around the tower at 7:06 a.m., too early. He had a coffee in his hand and sat down on the bean bag to the right of Clint who was trying, and failing, to beat Natasha on some race car video game.

"Why you up so early?" He asked turning for a second to look at him.

"Pepper, she woke me."

"Harsh man. No, no, no, no!" Clint closed his eyes and looked like he was trying hard to not slam the controller as he lost.

"Yes!" Natasha flashed a huge grin and turned to look at Tony, "You okay? You look tired, not your usual 72 hours without sleep tired, but still tired."

"No, yeah, just, you know, sleep and I have issues sometimes. You know how it is." The thing was, that they did know, they did understand. Her small nod and Clint's knowing look on him told him that, when it came to nightmares and stress or just plain old sleepless nights, any one of his newly found friends would understand and volunteer an open mind and listening ear at the smallest request. Even Banner, even if he slept through it, but Tony still loved him.

"Well, if you need anyth-"

"Just forget it, I'm fine, don't worry Clint. I'm good."

"Sure you are, wanna know what you also are? An idiot." Clint said in good manner and they both knew that he was serious in his offer.

"Jackass." Tony said with a smile. His friends worried, but they knew him, meaning they knew when they needed to joke and laugh things off and when they didn't. In this case, since he still was able to sleep some, rather than drink away in his garage, they let it slide. 

 "Children, while this conversation has been nice, I'd like to beat Clint again, so if you're done gossiping about each other, could we continue?"

"Nope, how about I give it a try." Tony got up and nudged Clint out of his spot.

"Stark, you're falling asleep where you stand. I'll beat you badly."

"You're going to die, man, I wouldn't if I were you." Clint smirked.

"You already tried, and lost. Let me try." And while he had the will, he lacked the skill, and lost. They stayed there playing, or trying to dethrone Natasha was more like it, for almost two hours, until Steve told them to get their butts out of the living room and come eat breakfast with the rest of the crew. And soon the dream was gone from Tony's mind.


	3. He Forgot To Ask For Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony gets help from a friend he didn't think could help him in this scenario.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is me apologizing for the late update. Also I would like to apologize for spelling and grammar errors. Comments, complaints, and tips are welcome!

_Tony sat between his Auntie and Obie in the front row below the podium. He held on to a rose his Auntie gave him carefully, a white rose with thorns that seemed too pretty for the occasion, out of place with all the black. He was cold, it_ was _December after all, and he wanted to be anywhere but here, he hoped his parents wouldn't be upset if they knew that. It's not that he didn't love them, it's just that he loved them so much he didn't want to be here. The only good thing among all this was that he was surrounded by people he loved. Auntie, Jarvis, Anna, and Obie. A couple of the other servants that liked him and took care of him also were here. Tina, one of the cooks was crying, she was always nice to him, giving him candies and feeding him whenever he wanted food. Tony knew she was really good friends with his Mommy, they liked to talk about fashion, and he knew that Mommy would usually go to her when Daddy got mad and other things like that. He wanted to go hug her, but he didn't. Obie told him before to not be too close to the staff, to not talk to them so much especially in public because it sent the wrong message to the press and, even if he wasn't sure what that meant, he listened to Obie. Well, usually, with this he didn't. He still talked to the staff, but he also knew that Obie wouldn't be happy to find that out, so he stayed put, making a mental note to hug Tina at home._

_There was someone at the podium talking right then, someone that looked important talking about some organization and while he wasn't really paying attention Tony caught that it had something to do with Daddy's work and briefly wondered if this had anything to do with Captain America. Many of Daddy's work things had to do with Captain America. Tony wished he was strong like Captain America, but then he remembered something... Captain America was also dead, asleep. Auntie had to live all this time without her Captain, knowing he was asleep forever and he wouldn't wake up ever again, like Tony's parents. Tony turned to look at his Auntie, and even if she was crying he realized how brave and strong she was, he understood that his Auntie had gone through what he was going through right now, and he found himself smiling. Knowing that even though he had to go through this, he wouldn't go through it alone, his Auntie would help him. When he turned back to the front he saw that the man speaking was putting a medal on Daddy's "casket" and he was confused why._

_"Auntie, why are they putting that medal on Daddy's bed?"_

_"It's a way to show how important your Daddy was and how much he helped people. Something big people do. It's okay." His Auntie whispered and as she finished explaining everyone started to get up. Tony stood up automatically, he knew now they just had to say bye to his parents. All he had to do was go up to the casket, place the rose on top, and he could go home. But he froze, his eyes clouded with tears. He held the white rose he had in his hand tightly, forgetting about the thorns until he felt the painful pricks on his right palm. He looked down at his hand and saw it was bleeding. He decided to hide it until a better time and held it close to his pant leg as he held the rose with his left._

_"Here. Hold my hand, honey." His Auntie offered him her hand but he shook his head. Not because he didn't want to hold it, but because he couldn't see how he could hold her hand and keep the fact that his hand was bleeding a secret as he walked on. He just had to put the flower on the casket. That's all. After that he could go home. He could go home, get a Band-Aid, and keep the fact that he got hurt a secret. No one ever had to know._

 

* * *

 

 

Tony woke up feeling unsettled. Disoriented. Desperate in a way he couldn't explain. After a second reality sunk in and he became aware he was awakened by a nightmare. Again. And as he tried to remember exactly what it was from the nightmare that woke him, he figured it was the one he couldn't remember when he couldn't figure anything and felt a sense of loneliness seep in through the cracks, he sighed and turned over in his bed towards Pepper only to find she wasn't there. He looked around for a second, a bit of panic seeping in when he realized he was alone.

"Jarvis! Jarvis?! Where's Pep?!" Okay, maybe more than a bit panicked. 

"Sir, Miss Potts is currently in Tokyo. She needed to travel there due to a Stark Industry meeting, she won't be home for another 63 hours."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, that's right."

"Is everything alright, Sir?"

"Yeah, Jarv, I just got... I forgot."

"Readings indicate that you've experienced another nightmare, Sir. Would you like me to contact Miss Potts?"

"Nope, I'm fine." Tony's voice sounding a little harder than necessary.

"Would you like to discuss your worries with me, Sir?" Something more than slightly similar to worry coating the AI's voice and Tony felt a little guilty.

"Thanks, buddy, but that's not necessary, really." Tony smiled at the ceiling, trying to put his AI at ease, because no matter what he always had Jarvis and Jarvis worried about him. He felt like he could breath easier now.

"If you are certain, Sir."

"Actually, Jarvis, do you remember, did I ever tell you about my nightmare?"

"Sir, you've told me about many of your nightmares, I'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific about which one you're referring to."

"Actually, that's the problem. I can't tell you about it..." He trailed off into silence and stayed quiet while he gathered his thoughts. After a couple of minutes Jarvis finally spoke up.

"Sir? If you're not comfortable, I mean not to disturb you."

"Hold on... See, the thing is I don't remember the nightmare. It's not like the ones I tell you, where I can remember what happens in them. Even if they are rusty. No, in this one I don't remember anything. It's like this huge hole in my memory where I can't touch and it frustrates me. And it..." Tony sat up fully on his bed and put his face in his hands, rubbing at his forehead, willing the nightmare to suddenly return to him. "Can I tell you something, Jarv?"

"Anything and everything, Sir. Whatever it is you need to say, you can say to me." Jarvis, who had remained quiet while Tony tried to explain sounded almost hurt at the doubt.

"I'm scared." He said, because he was. He was afraid for what seemed to be no real reason. And he was ashamed of that, but he needed to tell someone, get it all out of his chest. If not Jarvis, then who could he tell? He knew Jarvis wouldn't judge.

"May I remind you, Sir, I'm always here for you."

"And I thank you for that, J. See, I'm afraid that I'm forgetting something. Something important. And I can't reach it, no matter what it is I do. It's always the same nightmare, I can’t even call it a dream anymore. Not when it makes me feel like this. I'm starting to believe it's like a memory of some sort, but I'm also scared of finding out what it is. Jarvis, I don't know. What if it's awful? I don't know what to do. It's not like I can have you reach in my mind and sort it out or warn me, I wish I could. The thing is even if I could, I don't know if I would really want to see what is in there. You know?"

"Sir?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you like to look at the recording?"

"Recording?" Tony looked up, out of instinct more than anything, "What recording?"

"Sir, as you are aware I record mostly everything that happens in the facilities where I am connected, as part of security reasons. Unless specifically asked not to by a selected number of people." Jarvis paused as if trying to get his creator to catch up to his train of thought.

"Yeah, I know that, I told you to." Tony was a little confused as to why his friend was stating something so obvious and what it had to do with what they were discussing.

"That also includes recording you as you rest, Sir."

"Okay?"

"Sir, you sometimes talk in your sleep." And with that, Tony understood what Jarvis was telling him.

"Was I speaking today?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Oh my... Yes, yes I want to see it. Something is better than nothing. Play it!"


	4. He Forgot How To Not Cry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He was having nightmares about his aunt. He doesn't have an aunt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, complaints, and tips are welcome welcome! :) Sorry for all the mistake!

_“Auntie, I miss them. I miss them so much. They were supposed to be with me at the party, and now, I’m not even going to go to the party!”_

_“What party, Tony?”_

_“This party Mommy and Daddy were going to take me to, it’s not fair.” Tony got up from the bed he had been sitting on, his light red pajamas on. The tux he wore at the funeral yesterday laid on the floor in the corner of the room. He didn’t want to hang it up and now standing on his bed in near tears, he couldn’t help but look at it. “It’s not fair, not fair, not fair! I miss them! And it hurts and it’s not fair!” There were so many things that weren’t fair about this situation._

_He used to try to cry the least amount possible, he tried to make his dad happy by being the strong young man Daddy always wanted him to be. Now he couldn't do anything but cry. It was completely and utterly unfair._

_“I know it’s not, baby I know it’s not, none of this is fair.” She made to go towards him and hug him but he moved back, so that he was standing against his bed’s headrest._

_“I don’t know. Auntie? Is it okay to be sad? I miss them, I miss them so much.”_

_“It’s okay to be sad, but remember, your Mommy and Daddy will always be with you, in your heart.”_

_“I don’t want them to be in my heart, I want them here! I… I…” And that’s all his little heart could take before he burst out crying._

_“It’s okay to cry. Let it all out.” His Auntie hugged him and he did exactly what she told him to do. He cried. He cried until he couldn’t._

* * *

 

 

“Dude, you alright?” Tony looked up at the sound of someone speaking to him but he did not really snap out of his thought process. He’d spent the past few hours trying to figure out his dreams based on what he heard. He was quite vocal when he dreamed and this was something he appreciated now. And it was also the reason he was having such a hard time this morning. Some of the things he’d said didn’t make sense to him and it set him on edge.

“I’m good, Legolas.” He really wasn’t and, maybe the answer wasn’t to keep this hidden but to try to tell someone.

“You don’t seem good. What up?” In a split second he made a decision.

“I… Look don’t laugh. Alright?”

“Alright I won’t.” Clint looked at him all serious and nodded. Tony was one of the few people that he knew would laugh at anything and everything. So if Tony was asking him to remain serious about this then it meant it was of importance to the billionaire.

“I’ve been having… dreams. Weird dreams ok? They might be nightmares but I’m not sure. I don’t know they’re weird and they leave me feeling… strange. Jarvis, he showed me a couple clips yesterday and I talked in my sleep. A lot. And it’s bothering me. Because. Because I keep talking to someone. To-to my-” Tony stopped, his emotions getting the best of him. He looked at his friend who Tony was sure was getting about half of what he needed him to be getting.

“Your what Tony?”

“My aunt.”

“So you’re having a dream or a, um, a nightmare about your aunt?” Clint asked trying to understand something he clearly wasn’t.

“Yes.” Because that’s what was bothering him. In a few short words he was bothered about the fact that he was having nightmares about his aunt.

“I don’t… Dude, I’m not getting it.”

“I don’t have an aunt.”


	5. He Forgot He Wasn't Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can't do everything on his own. It's time to ask for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I know I waited a bit to post and these are kinda short, so I'm making it up to you guys. Comments, complaints, and tips are welcome.

_“Tony? What are you doing love?” The child was in the corner with papers spread all over the floor surrounded by what seemed to be some sort of assortment of paint bottles. The splashes of color tainting his clothes and skin, floor and lower parts of the walls. It seemed like someone in some sort of fit grabbed the paint brush and threw it around sprinkling its contents everywhere. Judging by Tony’s behavior and the sound coming from the room a couple minutes ago, that was very high on the list of possibilities._

_“I don’t know.” Tony looked up at her. His cheeks tear stained. Auntie crouched down until she was at his eye level. “Auntie, Is it okay to be mad? It’s just… I miss them. I-I miss them so much. And I’m mad they’re not here.”_

_“Yes, sweetheart, no one expects you to not miss them. Come here.” Tony shifted to her and hugged her. He buried his face in her neck trying to shield himself from everything around him. Trying to remain ignorant. But he couldn’t. He held on to her for as long as possible. Smelling her, that sweet scent that followed her everywhere, he tried to identify the flower but all he knew was that it wasn’t roses. He loved it. It kind of reminded him of his own mother. When he finally let go of her, she looked him straight in the eye as she smoothed a hand over his hair._

_“Come on, time for a shower. It's been a long day for you.” She smiled at him and stood up. “What do you want to wear?”_

_“The pjs you got me. They’re warm and remind me of you.” Tony ran towards his closet and emerged with pijamas colored red white and blue. They had a white star in the middle right on top of his belly. Tony knew this was one of the things that sometimes made his Auntie look sad, but he needed it right now. He needed something that reminded him of her, of daddy, of happy things. Auntie smiled at him and nodded._

_“Okay, to the bathroom, let’s go. You can shower alone right?”_

_“Ah, yes, b-bu-but um, could you stay. With me? I don’t want to be alone right now.” He looked down, Tony really didn’t want to be a bother._

_“Look at me Anthony.” He looked up._ _“Of course I’ll stay. I’m not going anywhere.”_

* * *

 

“Natasha do you know if personal files would have been released when you let everything S.H.E.I.L.D. had go public?”

“If it was on any of our databases then it’s out there.” She said not really looking up from her laptop as she typed away.

“Alright, thanks.”

“Why?” She looked up hearing something off in his voice.

“Well, I’m trying to find someone.” He said then stopped himself.

“Someone? Like?” Natasha raised her eyebrow at him clearly wanting more info.

“My aunt? I think?”

“Tony are you okay? Because I’ve read your file many times and even your parent’s, there is no mention of you having any aunt, from either side.” Natasha squinted at him.

“I know that, but I was sorta hoping my father hid away some file that had some family member’s name that I never knew about, specifically a woman.”

“Not that I know but Jarvis and I have been going through files concerning the Avengers Initiative and the files on all of us out there. You know fishing them out and storing them, or at least copies of them. As well as trying to keep the damage to a minimum. In case they become handy someday. Did you know the other day I was out with Steve and this crazy lady screamed that she was the same blood type as him and that it was meant to be? Some people, the poor guy was burning up in embarrassment. I’ll keep an eye out, that sound good?”

“Yeah, thanks.”


	6. Don't Forget The Roses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The call came in the middle of one of their Earth's Mightiest Hero's Movie Night. He didn't talk to them for almost two day. When he did speak he told them the story of a beautiful young woman in the 40s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think of this one? I did something different. I hope it doesn't suck and I hope that you guys don't hate it. Tell me what you guys think. Comments, complaints, and tips are welcome. This is for the late update from before. So here you go, enjoy.

Tony held tight to the red rose Steve had given him.

 

_How is my favorite nephew?_

 

It was too sunny and way too hot. Not at all fitting for the gloom atmosphere. Tony kept trying to look interested, eyes focused on the man currently speaking, a pastor of some sort, so it was probably something kind of important, on some level, and to some extent... But as everyone knew he had a very small attention span. It was just who he was, but he was also a very loyal friend, which is why he was here in the first place. By "here" he meant the cemetery, in 96 degree weather, at the burial of a woman he didn't even know. He was here even though he had many other things to do. He could be doing so many other things, like looking for his long lost Auntie.

'But Cap did know her. He knew this lady. And Cap cared for her.' Tony thought, 'He'd be by me, if it were me.' So he stood by him.

The call came in the middle of one of their Earth's Mightiest Hero's Movie Night, and Steve hadn't wasted a minute in getting out of the tower, but not without them noticing the few stray tears. When he returned five and a half hours later, his only explanation as to why he dashed out like that was "She needed me to be there. I just couldn't be late to our date again. Not again. It was our last chance to get a final dance." And that's all he said, for 42 hours, leaving them wondering who "she" was and if he got his dance.

When he did speak he told them the story of a beautiful young woman in the 40s. A woman who was brave. A woman who believed in Captain America even when the Captain didn't believe in himself. A woman who was strong for him when he wasn't able to stand for himself yet. A woman who was strong along with him even at the point when he could carry the weight for the both of them. A woman who remained strong even when he left her on her own. The woman who helped him be who he was, the woman who trusted him until the end, and most importantly, the woman he loved. The same one that had now left him to finish the race on his own. And when he asked for their support at her funeral, well of course they all promise to be there alongside their Captain, their friend.

They all hurt for him, his story, and how life just wasn't fair. And Tony was slightly surprised when he felt a strange pull on his heart when he heard the name of the woman that meant so much to his friend. He felt a familiar sense hit him when he heard it, probably nothing, it wasn't that rare of a name, or rare last name either. Still he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd heard it somewhere else before. Agent Margaret Carter.

 

_Won't you give your Auntie a hug?_

 

"Tony," Natasha hissed at him from her place at his side, breaking him from his thoughts. He hadn't even realized he'd dazed off again. "Please, it's almost done. For Steve." That did the job.

Tony turned to the person currently speaking, Agent Hill, and that's when he realized how many S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were present. That sparked his amusement but he let it slide... That is until he heard Hill say something that interested him.

"And as one of the co-founders of S.H.I.E.L.D., along with Howard Stark, we want to respect her with a special symbol of how much she meant and will continue to mean to this organization." She took a small medal with the S.H.I.E.L.D logo engraved in it and rested it on top the casket.

 

_Auntie, why are they putting that medal on Daddy's bed?_

_"It's a way to show how important your Daddy was and how much he helped people. Something big people do. It's okay."_

 

Tony looked hard medal, it held some sort of familiarity to it that it really shouldn't. But to be honest he wasn't thinking of that, not really. What he was thinking was that if this woman was a co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D. that meant she knew his father. So why hadn't he met her or at least heard of her before? Could she have known his Auntie? The woman he kept looking for, if she knew how hard he was looking for her. 

 

_Just remember I'll be with you._

 

Aaaaand he was losing focus again.Tony snapped to reality again, everyone was starting to shuffle, standing to put flowers atop the casket. He pushed down on the feelings he had of lost memories and stood alongside everyone. Something he noticed, as he looked down at the red flower in his hand was that the flowers were all red. Steve caught his expression and smiled sadly.

"She loved the color red roses."

"At least they're not white, that would have been such a cliche." Tony smiled back, trying to cheer his friend even if barely.

On the way back to the tower Tony, Pepper, Steve, and Natasha took one limo, while Thor, Jane, Bruce, and Clint took the other. No one was talking and Steve was looking out the window at the world he was still getting used to. Suddenly Natasha shifted and spoke up. 

"Was she the girl? Steve? From the picture?" He looked at her. Simply nodded and looked back out. Tony looked at her with a question in his eyes. she looked back at him with the promise of an answer later. Pepper looked worriedly at Steve and then at Tony, he squeezed her hand.

 

_Here. Hold my hand, honey._  

 

When they finally got to the tower Steve went to his room and then no one saw him for almost 24 hours.

 

_It’s okay to be sad, but remember, your Mommy and Daddy will always be with you, in your heart._


	7. The Voices We Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wants to help Steve, and he also wants to help himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I know it's been more than a month, in fact I think it's almost been two months. However I had no internet. Don't worry I'll put another chapter up before I go to bed. School started up again and I got distracted but I won't abandon this story. Don't worry. =) Comments, complaints and tips are always welcome.

"You look like shit, man." Tony told Steve as the soldier walked into the room. Steve looked taken aback for a moment, everyone seemed to be walking on eggshells around him lately and they were all very gentle with their word choice. Come to think of it not one of them had said a single curse word in his presence in the past several days... ‘See that’s why they need me.’ Tony mused.

 

"No? Really? Might have to do with the fact I haven't showered today. Or yesterday..." The blond looked at him in an empty kind of way that left Tony feeling a little sick.

 

"That or..." Tony trailed off not wanting to point out that grieving also made a person look sick. "How are you man?"

 

"Better, I...I" Steve put his head down. “I _miss_ her.” Tony’s heart broke a little as his Captain made a sound of what seemed to be a choked sob. "I had just found her, you know? After all these years. It seems like yesterday that I met her. And then, and then today, today she's..." Yes, he was crying. Sobbing. Tony walked around and took him into a hug. A manly hug, and Steve returned it, burying his face in Tony’s shoulder. He had never seen Steve so broken. "She's gone Tony, sh-she didn't wait for me. She left, she's gone, and she left me. I miss her so much already. Nothing will ever bring her back, Tony, nothing. She's gone."

 

 

_It's okay to cry. Let it all out._

 

 

"It's okay to cry. If it helps, I think you would have made her very happy." Tony responded not sure if that was the correct thing to say at all.

 

"But I didn't. I didn't even make it to our date. I..." He lifted his head off his shoulder, and took a shaky breath, "I hope she had someone to dance with, you know? When it was over, the war, I hope. Since I woke up, I hope upon hope that she had someone there with her. That someone was always at her side. I hope that she moved on. She did... I know she did. But I know she still... She held on for too long."

 

 

_Sweetheart, no one expects you to not miss them. Come here._

 

 

"She loved you. You can't expect her to have moved on fast, like if nothing happened. Just like no one expects you to move on any time soon after this. I mean, Steve, it really was just yesterday for you wasn't it? Like... It wasn't seventy years ago, it was what? Four? Three? Nothing. I'm sorry." Steve stayed quiet, and just looked at Tony.

 

"I once heard a person say that there was nothing like finding that someone you will love unconditionally for the rest of your life. That special someone you will love like you'll never love anyone else. But then that same person went on to say that the saddest thing we'll find out in life is that sometimes no matter how much you love someone, they might just not be the one you spend the rest of your life with. Do you think... Do you think that was us?"

 

"Perhaps, Steve, but it's going to be okay. There might not be someone else like her, but that's the point of life. Everyone's unique and different. Like love. Love is always different. Unique. That's part of the beauty of love. You'll never love the same way again, that doesn’t mean it’s not love." Steve sniffed and Tony could tell that his father’s old friend was embarrassed at his obvious lack of emotional control.

 

"How did you get so smart?"

 

"By hanging out with you. Go on, take a shower. I don't want you stinking up my tower." Tony looked at Steve's retreating back.

_Come on, time for a shower. It's been a long day for you._

 

 

"Steve," The blond stopped and looked back at the man still at the kitchen table.

 

"Yeah?"

 

"She seems like she was a lovely woman." Tony watched a sad smile appear on Steve’s face.

 

"She was."

 

* * *

 

_What? No! Of course not. TONY!! Tony?! Honey!!! Obadiah! You can’t do that! He’s my nephew!_

_Not by blood, not by law._

Tony woke up with a start

 

"JARVIS, reading?"

 

"A normal post-nightmare reading, Sir. Nothing too worrisome that I may note."

 

"Okay, okay..." If there was one thing he wished he could install into JARVIS was a mind reading software. Maybe he'd understand more of what happened when he slipped off into the unconscious.

 

He'd had that dream again. That dream. But this time he could hear woman, he didn't see, but could hear her screaming his name, screaming at Obie. It was strange to be honest. He doesn’t remember anything else but it’s more than he’s ever had. The woman had said nephew, so it had to be who he’s been looking for. Auntie.

 

With everything that has been happening with Steve, the genius had put a hold on looking for someone he didn’t know if favor of helping someone standing right next to him. With his close friend so hurt, Tony had stopped looking for the woman he called out for in his sleep. A woman, that up to now, he half thought was actually something he made up. He hadn’t actually expected to find anything while searching.

 

But now he had proof.

 

Proof she existed.

 

Not solid proof, ok yeah he knows that, but proof. He heard her. He finally remembered something about her. She called him Tony, not Anthony. She called him Honey. She called him nephew. And it excited him. Now that he knew that, well… he wanted to know more.

 

Tomorrow he would start his search up again. Ask Natasha what she found (if anything) and get to work with it. Someone out there loved him, and now he knew it wasn’t blood related. It seems she would have no hold over him through law. So was she a really good family friend? Who knew? But knowing that he now had more information Tony fell into a peaceful sleep.


	8. Don't Forget To Have Faith

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is in a good mood. Until everyone notices Steve is still in bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was going to update this two days ago and then I didn't because as I was rereading to revise it I didn't like it and decided to change it. I ended up trashing the entire first draft, only keeping one sentence from the original (Guess which one it was ;D). So I'm sorry for that since it ended up taking more time to update than promised. However I hope you guys like this and like always comments, complaints, and tips are welcome. By the way, to my lone commentator THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THAT COMMENT MADE ME! =) Anyways, enjoy!

“Hello, how is the loveliest assassin in the world doing this morning?” Tony was awfully cheerful this morning. And he hadn’t even had coffee yet. Natasha looked at him warily but he decided to ignore that in favor of looking for his dark energy substance.

“I’m good, thank you for asking?” She stirred the coffee she had in her hand as she sent Thor looks, but the prince wasn’t paying attention to her and Tony almost felt bad for her.

“You appear to be in a merry mood this morning, my friend!” Ah, so Thor did note his happy mood. Should he feel offended? I mean, it wasn’t that odd of him to be bright in the morning before having coffee, right? Well, maybe just a little.

“Yes I am, Thor, I had a great dream last night.” He heard Natasha snort.

“Was it a sex dream?”

“Thanks for ruining it Nat. Way to go.” Tony glared but it had no strength. Thor gave him a look that seemed a mix of amusement and apology for the woman’s behavior.

“What is this I hear about sex dreams?” Clint’s voice was heard before he was completely in the room. And when he walked in the other three smiled a little at the fact that Clint hadn’t forgotten to put his hearing aids in like he usually did.

“It seems Stark had a good dream last night. I’m guessing it was a sex dream.” Natasha said getting up to look through the shelves for more sugar for her coffee. Clint looked at Tony with a question in his eyes and Tony didn’t know how to answer so he looked away. While he didn’t mind the team knowing about his dreams, seeing as he’d already told Clint and Banner the full extent of the situation, he also didn’t want to discuss it right this minute. That meant Natasha and Thor would have to wait a little more to find out.

“Hm, I’m sure it was. Well, um, guys what’s for breakfast?” Clint effectively changed the subject, and Tony could tell that he was unsure of whether it was a topic they could discuss or not; and he took a moment to appreciate Clint’s concern. While Tony’s sleep patterns was a touchy subject it wasn’t near as touchy as the topic of food. Why? Because it was usually Steve was who used to make food for everyone. He seemed to enjoy it, to see them stumble in for breakfast, rush in for lunch, and find their way back for a lazy dinner. From time to time he would recruit Banner or Thor, on a few rare occasions he would even get Clint or Natasha to help with the first meal of the day. He had only gotten Tony, himself, to cook breakfast with him once or twice when he was up and had rested well the night before. If not, Steve would just talk away the morning as he had Tony sit with a few scraps of food and coffee, or hot chocolate, to hold him until the table was served.

But he hadn’t since his Agent Carter, as Tony discovered was her name, passed away.

It had been almost six weeks, and while that was by no means enough time to fully heal after the passing of a loved one, the team already missed their sarcastic and cheerful leader.

At that moment Banner chose to appear.

“He’s not up yet.”

Natasha stopped moving from her place at the shelf. “He’s still in bed?” She slowly turned to look at Bruce. He winced under the scrutiny and nodded.

“He was… Up. Yesterday at this time he was up. He’s been getting up at his usual time for 4 days now. What happened?”

“I don’t know Nat.” Tony could tell that his sometimes-green friend didn’t want to upset the assassin more than she already seemed to be.

“He was getting better! He was even working out in the gym aga- oh no- Jarvis, has Steve been to the gym in the last 24 hours?” She seemed to be thinking about something no one else was considering at this point.

“Captain Rogers was in the gym from 11:11 p.m. yesterday until 2:37 a.m. this morning. He… was not in a good mood. He also didn’t take proper care of his body. I registered a nearly fractured ring finger proximal phalange. And an injured ulna. However, these “scrapes” as the Captain called them are mostly healed now.” The AI seemed worried for the beloved blond. It was silent for a moment.

“How exactly did Captain Rogers come upon these injuries, Jarvis?” Thor asked sounding more upset than he appeared to be.

“He seemed to be putting too much force behind some blows.” And Thor nodded seeming to find this to be similar to what he was thinking.

“Punching bags?” Tony was sure he wasn’t going to get the answer he wanted.

“Among other things, Sir.” And if the AI seemed hesitant for some reason no one mentioned it.

“God, I’m going to go talk to him.” Natasha started walking out of the communal kitchen and towards the rooms.

“Tasha, no wai-”

“No, Clint, I’m not letting him be this time. It’s been more than a month. I just want him to get better and he’s not going to be able to do that lying in bed alone drowning in grief. I don’t know what caused him to down fall again but I’m not leaving him by himself to deal with this. He hurt himself. You heard Jarvis. I don’t want him to be in pain, and since I can’t do anything about the emotional aspect of that statement I sure as hell am not going to let him be in physical pain. He’s not helping himself so we need to be there. He’s lost too much. I don’t want him losing a finger too.”

“I shall accompany you Lady Romanoff, maybe with what happened to my brother I can relate, even if slightly, to our Captain.” Natasha nodded and patted Clint on the shoulder as she and Thor exited the room.

“No, wait… Guys, just let him… be…” Banner sighed realizing they weren’t going to let it go but he didn’t go after them.

“They’re worried.” Tony couldn’t argue with Natasha’s need to go check on Steve, Tony himself wanted to go check on him if he was being completely honest.

“I know they are, we all are, but we should respect his privacy. He’s going to deal with it how he can. It’s hard. To lose someone you love. Especially to him, remember that in his world he fell asleep and all of a sudden he wakes up and everyone he loved is dead. She was one of the last connections he had to his old life. I can’t imagine what that’s like. Tony I just don’t want to see him close up.”

“I know that Bruce, but we can’t leave him alone. He hurt his arm. What if he seriously hurts himself next time even if it’s on accident? And we’re not just talking about physically injury. It’s hard to get up from a depression, and you, of all people should know that. And that’s all I’m seeing right now: Steve falling into a deep depression because the love of his life and one of the only two people still around that he knew from before the ice just died.”

“Alright, I see your point. But we also need to remember to not push him too much.” Tony nodded and looked at the archer who was seated at the table with his head resting on his chin.

“You seem awfully quiet, Clint.”

“I was just wondering who we could call. Fury wouldn’t be much help, or Coulson, or Hill or anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D for that matter. We just need someone to bring him out, help him start doing the things that he used to. And we literally have no one to come help him. That’s so wrong.”

“We have Sam. Right?” Bruce seemed confused as he realized the lack of Wilson in the area considering how much he cared about Steve.

“No, he’s actually busy.” Clint said looking at Bruce but still in thought.

“Doing what?” Tony was a little peeved at that. What was more important than Steve?

“Looking into our missing person’s report. Well, the other one. Sam really took it upon himself to find him after what happened with Agent Carter.” He said thinking harder about that statement than most people would. As it were, both Banner and Tony knew exactly what Clint was talking about. And upon considering it, Tony had to admit that trying to find Barnes was probably the best way to cheer Steve up. Even if Barnes was broken he’d be here, and to the blond that would mean more than anything else in the world. Tony nodded his acknowledgement, Bruce also nodded as he got up from the chair he had been sitting at. “Speaking of missing people…” Clint looked at Bruce not knowing if he could continue and Tony once again appreciated that he was protecting his secret even though he never really said it was a secret.

“Don’t worry, he knows Barton.”

“Know?” Bruce had moved to the cabinets looking for food but he looked up at that.

“About my aunt.”

“How yeah.” He turned away and while he appeared to not pay attention Tony knew he was, Banner always paid attention to him and his issues. That’s why he told the scientist in the first place. They had been in the lab and Bruce had noticed that Tony was way too distracted and upon asking Tony had spilled all the beans.

“Oh, ok well did you find anything on your missing person?”

“No.” Tony looked down.

“I’m sorry man.”

“Yeah, I haven’t found a way of finding her. But I’m looking.”

“Hey, wait, I have an idea!” Bruce turned around to look at them, really excited for a moment there, and Clint and Tony waited for him to continue. “Why don’t we just find old albums and go picture by picture and then when check out the women, especially if they don’t seem familiar, Jarvis can help with facial scans.”

“That could take weeks maybe even months.”

“I know it’s not foolproof or practical but it’s something no?” Tony gave it a though, and nodded.

“It’s more than you have now. And it’s two more of us not just you and Jarvis.” Clint seemed excited at the idea of helping but maybe it was also the idea of something to occupy his time without having to think too hard of Rogers.

“True.” Tony liked how this was sounding more by the minute.

“Maybe if it’s too much we could even enlist Steve to help, you know give him something to do?” Clint asked hesitantly, and while Tony wasn’t too sure about that he nodded anyway.

“Come on, we can eat something and then go up to your storage, heaven knows we need a distraction. Let’s start from the oldest possible age where you could have forgotten her and work ourselves down, 16 to 19 sound good?”

“Sure Banner, just remember you’re the one volunteering your afternoon.”  
“Oh come on, how many strange females could you ha- oh no, what did I do. I just recommended the worst time range to start looking didn’t I? Just tell me now, how many women did you sleep with?” Clint chuckled as Tony smirked. It felt nice to not be alone in this, it felt good to know he wouldn’t be the only one looking for her anymore. And he finally dared to hope that he would actually find her.

“More than I feel comfortable telling you, Bruce.” Tony smiled. And he actually believed everything was going to be alright.


	9. Breathe, Don't Forget To Breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the people who you least want to help you are the ones that always do. Tony needs to panic a little to find that out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a chapter, I hope you guys like it. Like always, any comments, complaints, and tips are welcome.

_“What was he like?” They were laying in his bed, covered from the cold in soft blankets. His Auntie had just finished telling him a story about Captain America and he wanted to know more about him. He wanted to know what his dear Auntie really thought about the man that she knew for such a short time but cared so much about._

_“Well, baby, he was a hero. Always willing to put others before him.”_

_“Auntie, you never told me why’s he not here?” Because even if he knew he shouldn’t ask, he just couldn’t keep the question inside any longer. He knew she lost him but he didn’t know how._

_“Because… well, um, h-he was running out of time, and-and he…” She paused and Tony could hear her swallow, as she shifted in the bed, her arms around him becoming a little tighter, “he had to fly his way to heaven. And now he can’t leave because he’s, ah, taking care of you. Watching over you and protecting you no matter what.”_

_“But he doesn’t know me. How can he care about someone he doesn’t know? Isn’t he busy taking care of everyone else?”_

_“Well, Tony, I know him, and I asked him to watch over you when I can’t. He’ll never let you down sweetie. And if you ever feel like you can’t tell me something don’t doubt for a moment that you can tell him anything. Everything, sweetie. He’ll always listen to you.”_

_“Auntie, I want to be like him when I grow up. I want to be a hero.”_

_“You will be, but it’s time to go to bed now.” And even Tony could tell she wanted to cry._

_“Do you- I mean…”_

_“What is it? You can ask me anything baby, except about that circuit board you were playing with earlier. Don’t ask me about that.” Tony smiled at that knowing fully well that his Auntie knew enough about his circuit experiments to help him. But that wasn’t the issue right now, because he saw the tears in the corners of her eyes and how sad her smile really looked. If she wanted to see him smile too then he would._

_“Do you thing Daddy and Mommy finally found him? Because I know, I know that he wanted to find him. Daddy I mean, he was always- well, looking for him. So do you think Daddy finally found him?” And at that he heard an honest, soft laugh._

_“Probably, it’s hard to miss him, just follow the trouble.” He felt his heart hurt less. Knowing that his daddy finally found what he was looking for since before he was born. And a small part of Tony wanted to believe that Captain America was watching over him, with his parents. And before he really knew what was happening he was falling asleep in his Auntie’s arms, but that was okay. Someone was looking after him._

* * *

__

He woke with his throat feeling dry and itch; he wanted to cry. He had no idea why, really, but he could guess it had something to do with his dream. But it was different because he remembered something. He woke with an image, a smile, red lips trying to smile at him. Words he couldn’t quite pin.

“Jarvis, I-I saw her. I saw her. I-I” He couldn’t breathe, and at the back of his mind he realized he was having a panic attack of some kind.

“Sir, stay still, I will-” Tony could hear the concern on his AI’s voice.

“I saw her.” And hadn’t he already said that? So he added, “She was smiling at me. She was beautiful. I mean I don’t really remember her whole face but I just know that she was beautiful.”

“Sir, I need to call someone, it appears you’re having some sort of panic attack, or breakdown as you’d call it.” Jarvis had a panicked tone and Tony laughed at the fact that he was in a sort of panic also. Two people panicked!

“I-I need to find her. I saw her. She’s probably looking for me. Why isn’t she looking for me?” Tony felt pain soar through his leg and after looking down for the source he realized that he had hit his leg on the edge of his bedside table. When had he gotten up?

“Sir, please don’t move. Someone is on their way.” And Tony heard the change of Jarvis’ voice, calming, trying to get him under control with authority. Tony did what he could to not worry his invisible friend more and sat on the floor. He found his way to the corner between the table and the wall, and he ended up grabbing hold of his knees, bringing them up to his chest so that he was in a fetal position. He tried to take a breath but his lungs weren’t listening to reason.

“Sir, breathe in… breathe out… breathe in… bre-”

“Ssssh-hu-ut-shut u-u-up! Jarvis, Jar-Jarvis please sh-SHUT UP!” Tony couldn’t say what he wanted to say correctly, he was having trouble speaking due to his heavy pants. And even if he could, he was sure that Jarvis going quiet was the last thing he wanted, but that still didn’t keep him from saying it.

“Sir,”

“I’m fine!”

“Readings indicate you’re not.”

“I-I, I’m fine, I’m f-ffff-fine! I don’t,” Tony had to gasp for air, “un-under-understand, I don’t understand!” Because honestly he couldn’t understand why he was having a panic attack. It didn’t make sense, though then again, his life rarely did.

“Hold on, Sir, they should be entering soon.” And then his heart stopped for a second. ‘ _They should be entering soon?’_ Jarvis had called someone. Oh no, who was it?

“Who,” he gasped, although his voice was still shaky, he realized he was breathing easier and by default he could talk clearer, “who did you call?” The only thing in his mind in that moment was that he was bothering his friends again.

“Captain Rogers.” And Tony could hear the guilt in his AI’s voice. He could also hear his breathing speed up again. And his heartbeat. And, well, it appears he’s having a panic attack again.

“Why him?! W-why?!” He really didn’t want to bother Steve. Not Steve. Steve was just starting to go back to normal, or somewhat normal. His sleeping patterns were looking good again, He got up early and went running and only worked out with another Avenger around, even, if they just sat there watching Steve flex his muscles. He was cooking again. Three months after the death of his loved one Steve was finally moving on; he was happy again. He was still a little quiet and sometimes seemed distracted but he was joking again. He had started to go places like parks and museums with Natasha, Clint, and Sam. In fact, they were all going to celebrate his birthday today by eating and then going to his exhibit in DC. He had told Tony that sometimes he went to the Smithsonian to check out his section and walk down memory lane. So, of course, Tony was going to suggest they all go since none of the others had been to it yet and they did all “miss” his birthday given that the date was just a few days after the death of Agent Carter. Steve had agreed, even if a bit reluctant. In the end, he was being Steve again.

And now he was going to ruin it.

Because he was Tony Stark and he ruined everything.

He was going to dump his useless problem on yet another one of his coworkers. Even with Bruce and Clint’s help Tony still hadn’t found the woman and now he was growing impatient. Seven weeks down the road and they had found nothing at all. They were up to age 6 and still no sign of her. Tony even wondered how it was that this woman his subconscious cared so much about seemed to not care about him to make an appearance since he was apparently 6 years old. The problem was that once they hit 5 years old it would be a dead end. He barely remembered that year, or anything before that really. Well, that’s not true, he remembered one thing about that year.

His parents died that year.

He felt that before that it wouldn’t matter because it would mean that she was only around for Howard. If she never bothered to show up after his parents died then it meant he didn’t matter that much to her. He didn’t know her and barely remembered anything about her but he had hoped that she wasn’t around just for Howard like so many other people were. He was starting to give up, he didn’t want to find out she didn’t love him either. Only Jarvis ever loved him. Not even Obie loved him, and he was his legal guardian. The only people to ever love him were Jarvis and Anna. He bet no even his fellow Avengers loved him. Did Pepper love him? He felt a wave of nostalgia and sadness… and want. He wanted Jarvis, and Anna.

He was broken out of his mental rambling by strong hands wrapping around him.

“Jarvis?” That was the only person he could think of that would hug him. “Jarvis, where’s Anna?” And then he looked up. Bright blue eyes were staring at him. _Oh no._ That was the moment the fog cleared. He tried to scramble away. He didn’t want Steve to see him like this, even if he knew it was too late.

“Hey, hey, hey, Tony. It’s Steve. You’re okay. I’m here. Look at me.” Tony could do nothing but look at him. “It’s okay. Jarvis is here too. I’m sure he’d get, um, Anna for you.” Tony shook his head.

“I thought you were Jarvis.” And he did. For a moment he reverted back to his younger self, wrapped in the arms of the man who was basically his dad. He wanted that. He missed that. He wanted to be wrapped in the arms of Anna. Who he basically considered his mother. He looked up again, only to realize Steve was talking.

“-ot human.” Steve made a face. “Tony, can you, did you hear me?”

“No. I’m sorry. I’m sorry what did you say?”

“I said Jarvis can’t really be here Tony, he’s not really human, with a body.” And Tony shook his head again.

“Not that Jarvis.”

“Not… that Jarvis? I don’t…” Steve was really confused now.

“I believe Sir is referring to the man I was named after. Edwin Jarvis, the butler of Mr. Howard Stark.”

“Oh,” that was all Steve said before sitting down and finally getting the memo to stop hugging Tony.   
“I’m sorry,” Steve looked like he was going to interrupt but Tony held up a hand, “for waking you. I’m sorry I woke you.” His breathing was back under control and he seemed to be able to say what he needed to say. He wasn’t sure when he had calmed down. But now that he did he felt embarrassed. Ashamed of the fact he lost control so completely.

“You didn’t.” And Tony noted the way Steve lost eye contact for a second; he also spared a look at the clock on his bedside table. It was _2:24_ in the morning.

“It’s late.”

“I couldn’t sleep. You’re not the only one who has… problems sleeping.” Steve looked away and Tony understood.

“So… you mean Jarv, he called you because you were already awake because… you had a nightmare?” It was mean as a question but it didn’t end up sounding too much like one.

“Yes.” Crossing his legs on the floor the blond sat next to him. His body leaning against the wall but not taking his eyes off Tony and it put Tony slightly on edge to have such bright blue eyes fixed on him. The worry in them, even, when Tony should be the one worried about his leader. Steve _did_ just confess to having problems sleeping. Maybe things weren’t as good as they seemed to have been. He was pulled out of his thoughts when he realized Steve was talking to him.

“What did you say? I…” He didn’t finish.   
“I was asking you if you wanted to talk about it since, I mean, it helped me. Still helps me.” Tony briefly wondered who Steve was talking to, and mentally thanked that person.

“I-I…” He felt like some part of him wanted to. He felt like he needed to tell Steve what was going on but he also didn’t know how to start honestly. He tried again, it was the least he could do for Steve. It might pay off in the end and his soldier friend won’t find him crazy.

  


_He’ll always listen to you._

_  
_

“I’m looking for someone...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need someone's opinion, so if anyone would be kind enough to leave a thought and I'll be forever in your debt: Do you guys want to see Steve and Tony talk or is it okay to skip that part. I'm not sure. Since I did skip Bruce's conversation, mainly because I couldn't make it work with the time frame, and this one is also a bit on the harder side to fit in, but I can do it I'm sure. Also do you want a list of the dates I have for each chapter so you guys can follow my logic on the time line? Thank you and I apologize for any inconvenience.


	10. Hands I Won't Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Tony have a late night discussion, mainly it's just them crying. But not really.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to you people who helped me decide! Forever in your debt! Also, guys, I know there are a lot of comparisons in this one but I wanted to show that the parallels between the ways of Peggy and Steve are awaking something in Tony. I hope it's not too confusing. I'm sorry for any errors. Like always feel free to leave a comment, complaint or tip. They are always welcome with open arms. And they make me so very happy. =) Enjoy. Oh and sorry if it's too long.

He opened his mouth and closed it again. He had told Steve he was looking for someone and hadn’t said anything since. That was about ten or eleven minutes ago, maybe twelve. He opened his mouth again at the same time Steve did and, upon seeing the other was about to say something, they both closed them immediately. After a moment the blond opened his lips again.

“What were you going to say?” Tony was going to say so many things but the thing was, he wasn’t really going to say anything. He couldn’t, at least not yet anyways.

“Nothing. I’ve got nothing.” As he said it, he knew he hadn’t fooled the blue eyed man but he also saw that Steve wasn’t going to push. Steve understood that it was harder to start talking than it was to keep talking. “What were- what about you?”

“I was going to say: I’m looking for someone, too, you know.”

“Barnes.” He saw Steve nod in the dark.

“So if there’s something I could… you know.” Pale hands began to pick at his white sleeve. Tony smiled sadly when he realized Steve was clad in a long sleeved shirt and thick light gray sweatpants. It was only October and he had to admit that it was getting a little chilly but it wasn’t cool enough for what he was wearing. Abruptly, he was reminded of how uncomfortable Steve was with the cold. But it wasn’t until this moment that he truly realized that Steve was scared of the cold. He’d mentioned it before, sure, it was something a good team member mentioned when you had to do a mission somewhere cold; something you warned people about in case there are problems during the mission. But everyone forgot. It was the stuff you forget when all you see is a great leader, a legend. No one remembered how young Steve really was. How young he was when he fell in the water. How long he’d been in the frozen darkness. He would be scared of the cold, too, if he was Steve.

“Hey,” Tony hadn’t realized he’d dazed off again until Steve spoke to him softly, hand on his knee, “what are you thinking?”

“That you’re cold.” He heard a soft chuckle, and through the dark could see Steve smiling.

“That’s what you’ve been thinking about? Five minutes and you’ve been thinking about the A/C?”

“Well, that, and my aunt.”

“Your aunt? You have an aunt? How come we haven’t… Oh.” Smile gone, blue eyes focused again. “Is that who you’re looking for?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s she like?” Tony took a moment to think it over.  
“I don’t know.” Tony said in a thick voice. Steve looked at him for a second and nodded again, then shifted a little closer to him.

“I understand if you don’t want to tell me Tony.” Tony felt his heart clench because he did want to tell Steve. Because Steve would understand. Because he trusted Steve. Because it was simply Steve.

“No, Steve, that’s not, I literally don’t know. I don’t remember what she’s like or what she looks like. Okay? I mean, I saw a smile today. Or at least I think and I don’t know what to do. You understand? Except you don’t! No one does! And all I want is someone to hug me and tell me…” Tony stopped and put his head in his hands. He was fully aware he was acting like a child; and while he was ashamed, he also needed this. He needed to vent and rant and not care. His voice turned into a whisper. “I want Jarvis, and Anna, and I want to find my Aunt. I miss someone I don’t know.” He felt tears pool in his eyes, and a few ran down his cheeks and he tried to ignore them. He silently prayed that Steve couldn’t see them in the dark. He pressed his palms to his eyes, and looked up.

“I know Tony, trust me I understand. I miss someone who doesn’t know me.” Steve said with all the sympathy in the world. And he realized Steve could see his watery eyes, but only, because he could see the tears in Steve’s eyes. How did he end up in this position? Making a complete fool of himself in front of his hero. But this, the dreams, was something that had been building up from years. All the frustration had found a release point and he couldn’t stop it. To be honest he hated himself a little for it, for the lack of emotional control. But it also felt good to let go. And again he felt strong arms wrap around him, pulling him closer to a warm body.

“I feel so alone, even though I have you, all of you guys. I feel like you’re all going to leave me.” Tony confessed. He could deny he felt anything resembling emotion in the morning. Tonight he was going to break in Steve’s arms and finally find some sort of emotional comfort.

“I'll stay with you, Tony. I’m not going anywhere. None of us will. I’m going to keep you company." He heard Steve say and he felt a sort of deja vu at the words.

 

_"We'll stay with you, love. We're not going anywhere. Not Jarvis or I. We're going to keep you safe."_

 

After a few minutes passed and he felt Steve shift and somehow he ended up on the bed with his head on the blond’s lap. He tried to get up, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him. What does it say about you, when you let yourself rest your head on the lap of your close friend, who is half your age? That you’re a poor soul with no dignity left, that’s what. He tried to rise again but he felt Steve’s hand stop him again.

“Tony, it’s okay just lay here and rest.” Tony heard, and felt, Steve adjust himself against the wall to make himself more comfortable. “Do you think you could tell me what is going on? Now that you’re a little calmer…” Tony shifted, and after a minute nodded. After all, he didn’t have to look at Steve now.

He felt fingers run through his hair and again it felt familiar; he though back to when he was younger, probably 7 or 8, and had, had an awful day at school. He had to take pictures of his family to school for a presentation about them, and, he had taken pictures of Jarvis and Anna. His teacher, of course, knew who his real father was, and, had told him that those weren’t pictures of his family. She had told him she was sorry about what happened to his parents but he couldn’t use the pictures he’d taken, that he needed to take pictures of his real parents the following day, and wouldn’t take no for an answer. He got yelled at the next day for not taking pictures necessary for his presentation. After a phone call home from the teacher, Jarvis had told him that if he didn’t want to take the pictures then he didn’t have to. Jarvis had held him that night, much like Steve was doing now, with his head on the Englishman’s lap; Jarvis’ hands combed his hair as he fell asleep.

He got a zero for the assignment and it brought his grade down to a C. The day his report card came in the mail Obie was mad and yelled at him; and even though, he didn’t regretted his choice, he did mope all day. Anna gave him hot chocolate to comfort him. The following day when he asked for the report card Jarvis claimed it had gone missing and that was the last he heard of it.

He had gone quiet again, and this time he noticed. As did Steve.

“You don’t have to.” The hands in his hair stopped moving.

“No. I am, just… I was remembering something.” He didn’t elaborate. “Here, we’ll make a deal. I’ll tell you something if you tell me something, about Agent Carter. I know you also need to get some things off your chest if your version of a good night is to sit here listening to me talk. Yeah?” Tony was met with silence and was about to backtrack. But Steve spoke up.

“Yeah, seems fair. Might help us both.”

“Okay so, it’s not something… um… It’s not big or anything.”

“Stop, it obviously is important if you’re losing sleep about it Tony.”   
“Okay, okay. I just don’t want you to judge me. It’s always hard when yo-“

“Here.” Steve grabbed his hand and laid his index and middle finger over his left hand joint, where thumb meets wrist. “Hold my hand.”

 

_Here. Hold my hand, honey._  

 

Tony was confused until he felt it, and he realized his fingers were over Steve’s radial pulse point. The tap-tap-tap-tap against his fingers for some unknown reason made him feel better. “Okay, now, start from the beginning.”

“It all started because I’ve been having these dreams. They started a long time ago, honestly, I can’t remember when. But lately they’ve been getting worse. The thing is I don’t remember what my dream- nightmare really- is, I can’t remember it. I try, Steve, I try, I try so hard and I can’t remember. Have you,” he felt the hands on top his head start combing through his hair again. “Have you ever felt like you were forgetting something and it’s something, something incredibly important? Something you swore you’d never forget? And yet, you forgot. That’s the feeling I get when I have this dream. And then I- Jarvis, he, he, he told me one night some months back that I talk in my sleep, it was a bad night. Like today and Pepper wasn’t here, but you weren’t either. But then again it wasn’t as bad as today.

“Well, anyways, in the recording I was talking, shouting really, for my aunt. Auntie is what I called her. But I have no idea who this is. And-and it’s there. It’s this feeling for this person who, I feel like I should know. And she’s not in any memory. She’s not here. She doesn’t exist. And I feel lost. I asked Nat for info, you know if for some reason my dad hide some random sister he had for security reasons but nothing. I talked to Clint, he and Bruce have tried to help me but we can’t find anything on this woman I seem to care so much about. And since I started looking for her. Well, I started remembering things.

“I heard her voice but I can’t remember it. I saw, I think I saw her smile, her bright, red and white smile. But I can’t put a face to the smile. I can’t piece anything together. And every time I try, all I can think is: I miss you. I don’t know you, but I care so much… so much… that I can’t forget you even when I can’t remember you. And we’ve looked. Clint, Bruce, Jarvis, and I. We’ve looked. And we can’t find her. I have no relatives. We’ve looked though most of my storage. Pictures. News articles. Year books. Everything! And it’s frustrating! And we can’t find her! I can’t find her!...” Tony hadn’t realized he was crying, and much less that he was shouting, until this moment. He lowered his voice, to a whisper.

“I-I miss her. I want to remember her. I wish I could tell you why I need to find her. But I can’t. I just have a feeling. I can’t back it up with facts but I can tell you that I need to know who she is. I feel like I broke a promise. I feel like I’m disappointing her. When in truth I don’t know if she’s real. Steve. I don’t know. I just miss her. Like I miss Jarvis, and Anna, and my Mom, and my Dad. But we can’t find her. But then again why isn’t she here now? With me. I’ve lived my whole life and she hasn’t shown up since at least when I was in elementary school. Why hasn’t she come visit me? Why isn’t she looking for me? I think that scares me more than never finding her. You know? Finding her, and realizing she doesn’t care. That I’m not important to her. That she didn’t care about me.

“And Steve, I’m not used to this amount of feelings. I’m a rational adult, for the most part. I’m a grown man. I’m an Avenger who is literally looking for a dream. Because that’s all she is. A dream.” Tony felt a lump in his throat and swallowed. His hand was grasping Steve’s on the harder end now and he could clearly feel the thuds against his skin. He tried to count them as he waited for the moment to pass.

“Tony, it’s okay.”

 

_"Tony, it's okay, …”_

 

“Breathe. It’s okay, I’m with you. Alright? I get it.”

_“…baby, breath. Jarvis. Jarvis is here, he’s downstairs taking care of a few things, it’s okay I’m with you. Alright…”_

“And I’m here, always. Your parents may be gone, this Jarvis, and Aunt might be gone, but I’m here for you, and we’re with you; Nat, and Clint, and Bruce, and Thor, and Pepper; okay, Tony? All of us. Do you get? We’re all here for you, always. We’ll find her. We’ll look for her with you.”

 

_“… Always. Your parent may be gone but I'll be with you. We're here for you, yes, Tony? Do you understand that? We'll be here for you, always."_

Tony nodded, that’s all he could really do. He let Steve’s pulse guide him through the silence.

“Tony?”

“Yeah?”

“Why hadn’t you told me? You basically told everyone but me.”

“Oh, I…” Tony let out a sigh. “You were busy. With her. You needed time. And I didn’t want to bother you.” The silence was there again, like an angry bruise nudging his ribs, making it hard to breath. And before he could worry about if Steve would take it the wrong way he spoke again. “What was she like?” He knew Steve would know exactly who he meant. And he did.

“Well, she was my hero. She was always helping others. Just there. Not giving up.”

_“Well, baby, he was a hero. Always willing to put others before him.”_

 

“You know. She saved me from myself. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t be here right now. Bucky wouldn’t be alive. I would have gone on with my life in the 40s, paid my dues as a movie star. Without her I would have lived my youth as propaganda for war bonds and never ‘ve done anything against it. I would have gone to the war front and given my presentation to the 107th without ever knowing. Bucky would have died on the table where I found him, with Zola experimenting on him. Captain America wouldn’t exist, not like now, he’d be joke… I’d be joke. She was there. She stood in the pouring rain with me. And then got on a plane with me, and the stood up for me.” Tony looked up to Steve’s face when he heard him laugh softly.

“You know, our first kiss was right before I got on the plane. She kissed me right before I got on and just grabbed me a second before I jumped and pulled me back in for a kiss. I was so,,, dazzled by her. She was amazing. I was shocked and for a moment couldn’t find my bearings. So much so that General Phillips looked at me and said he wasn’t going to kiss me. And what’s funny is that earlier on before things go so bad. Before Bucky, she, she’d caught me kissing this girl. I don’t even remember who this other girl was, she’d come out of nowhere and just grabbed my tie and smacked her lips against mine. I think I was waiting for your dad or something. I remember thinking she, Pe-Carter had a thing with your dad at one point. So when I tried to show her my shield she shot me, or rather at me, the shield stopped the bullets. And I was… I knew I loved her then. I knew it before but… Nothing says love like being shot at right? But yeah that was our first kiss.” Tony, who had been quiet this whole time, bit his lip when he saw the tears on Steve’s eyes. He was about to say something when the younger man opened his mouth.

“That was also our last kiss now that I think about it.” And Tony’s heart hurt for the man. He got off his lap but didn’t let go of his hand.

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah…” They sat there, in silence, and while the air was still thick it wasn’t as thick. They had both talked enough. Both had let pressure off their chests. Tony had to admit that it was rather… comforting to talk to someone. And he was glad he could also lend an ear to Steve, also. But it was late and they had better get to sleep if they were going to make it to that exhibit in the morning.

“So… it’s late.” Steve voiced the thoughts he didn’t want to say out loud.

“It is.” Tony nodded not sure if he wanted to kick Steve out of his room even if his body was urging him to go to sleep. Pepper was away again on another business trip and he didn’t really want to be alone, but he also didn’t want to ask Steve to stay.

“Tony, is it… I mean can I stay with you tonight? If that’s okay with you? I don’t… maybe if there’s someone here with you… and I… I’m…” He didn’t continue. But he didn’t need to. Tony could hear the silent ‘I’m having nightmares too.” And he couldn’t say no. He didn’t want to say no. He nodded.

_"Okay, honey, do you-can I stay with you tonight? Would you be alright with that?"_

 

“I hope we’re not too tired tomorrow, I really want to see some of your old embarrassing moments.

“I hope so too. And actually that exhibit is rather flattering. I do think it caught all my best points. Good luck trying to find a bad perspective. Because I’m amazing. Now get some sleep Tony.”

_"I hope so too. Get some sleep Tony,…”_

 

“What if I don’t want to.”

“Well, I’m going to be all loud tomorrow morning waking you up. So If I were you I’d go to sleep.”

_“… I'll be here when you wake up."_

 

“Fine grandpa. You’re no fun.”

_And before he really knew what was happening he was falling asleep in his Auntie’s arms, but that was okay. Someone was looking after him._

Tony fell asleep before he really knew what was happening. But that was okay. He had Steve. And Steve would look after him.


	11. Forget For A Moment And Have Fun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes in between all the bad is a little bit of good. But that usually doesn't last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if you all hate me for not updating for almost 2 months. I have no excuse, well, I had no internet for a while and so very much homework but that's still not an excuse. I apologize. Hope this helps a bit. I won't disappear for so long again. Hopefully. I just want to restate that no matter what I won't be abandoning this fic. Thank you for reading and I hope you like. Comments, tips, and complaints are always welcome. Also, sorry if this seems a bit slow but this is sort of a transition chapter. Fine I'll stop talking. Enjoy =)

The first thing Tony noticed when he started to wake up was the fact that it was way too light outside; and immediately after that he noticed Pepper laughing with her phone out near the door.  And that was strange, she wasn’t there when he went to sleep, was she? Also, why was she laug- And then he noticed the warm body beside him, or under him. Yeah, he was basically cuddled on top of Steve’s chest. Crap.

“If you were going to cheat on me with someone, I must say, you made an excellent choice.” Pepper was still smiling, mischievous glint in her eye.

“It’s not what you… What? No, no, no I mean it’s Steve, we- when did you get back? I thought you’d… don’t wake him up...” In his sluggish still somewhat asleep state Tony got up quickly, climbing over his sleeping friend instead of the other more sensible way where he didn’t have to try to scramble over anyone. He only accomplished to jam his elbows into Steve’s ribs. Steve then bolted up hissing, body tensed and ready for a fight.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t- it’s, it’s not… I didn’t mean to…” For a few seconds no one moved until Pepper let out another laugh.

“What happened?” Steve asked getting up and rubbing his sore rib.

“Oh, nothing, just taking a few pics of Tony drooling on you, they’ll make great blackmail material, or at least be a good background for my phone at the very least.” She was putting her phone away already, her heels clicking softly on the hard floor as she made her way to the closet to set her travel bags away.

“I see,” Steve turned to look at Tony as the brunet got up to follow Pepper but didn’t move further than 2 feet from the bed. Now that Tony was awake he realized the Pepper wouldn’t think he was cheating on her with Steve. She, however, will more likely than not ask about why Steve was there sooner rather than later. “I should probably get going and check that the others are doing the same. Jarvis, what’s the time?”

“It is 7:02 Captain Rogers.” The AI answered happy as always.

“That’s good, we can head out around 8, and be in Washington by 9. That sound good Tony?” Steve was already by the door, handle in hand.

“Sounds perfect Mr. America.” Steve rolled his eyes and with a soft click he was gone. Tony turned to look at Pepper who was coming out of the closet with the outfit she had left prepared before she left for Germany on a business trip three days ago. It was a plain, loose fitting, beige blouse with three-fourth sleeves. She paired it with light-blue, denim, ankle skinny jeans; complete with a thick black beaded necklace, matching black bracelets, and simple black flats. He noticed her hair looked clean and she looked quite fresh so he figured he would be able to have the restroom to himself since it seemed she took a shower on the plane.

“You’re going to look gorgeous.” He said, hearing her mumble something non-committal, as he made his way to the restroom to wash away the sleep. When he came back into the room a little over 20 minutes later in a towel, Pepper was sitting on the edge of the bed fixing her flats, the necklace and bracelets on the night table.

“So, what was Steve doing here last night?” She asked, not quite looking at him, no trace of judgement in her voice. She paused for only a moment and looked at him in the eye this time. “Is it because of the nightmares? Because of her?”

“The… You know?” He sat down next to her a bit dumbfound.

“Bruce was worried about you and he wanted to make sure I was there for you and he… thought it would be best that I be informed.” And trust his best friend to be the one to spill the beans to his girlfriend. But then again Tony couldn’t be mad at him because he did it in the best interest. “I’m glad he told me.” Tony didn’t look at her, deciding to dry him face and hair with the extra towel he had in his hand rather than lift his eyes to hers. He felt her hand on his shoulder and paused his movements.

“So am I. I didn’t know how to exactly bring it up.” She hugged him and he held her tight. He worried for a moment he was going to get her wet so he let go. But she didn’t let go of his hand.

“What’s going on? Have you found her? Does Steve know her?”

“No, just, you know. I needed someone last night and J thought that Steve was a good choice. He came, we talked. Nothing too feely, he just helped me go to sleep.” Tony knew the no feely part was a lie, but come on, he was still a Stark and feelings were always on the ignore list.

“Good, I’m always happy to hear you have someone to help you when I’m not here. Especially someone as sexy as Steve.” He saw her wink at him when she let go of his hand, smoothing her blouse as she got up from the bed. He noted the blouse was thankfully not wet. The redhead grabbed her necklace and bracelets and put them on with a grace Tony was sure he couldn’t copy. “Now, go get dressed, I don’t think we want to keep Steve and the rest waiting.”

“Are you sure you want to go? I mean, you just got back. And it was an 11 hour trip.”

“I slept my 8 hours on my way here. I planned ahead specifically to not miss this, not for the world. Besides, I don’t think I want to know what would happen if I let all 6 of you overgrown children roam the earth without adult supervision. I feel like Director Fury would have my head in a heartbeat.” 

“Uh, excuse you, it’s 9 overgrown adults. Jane, Rhodey, and Sam are coming too.” Tony heard her laughing as she walked away, more quietly than if she were wearing heels. Tony was left sitting on his bed wondering what on earth to put on.   


Twenty-four minutes later found him sitting on one of the couches in the communal floor, people running around this way and that. For a bunch of superheroes, they sure were unorganized. He was wearing black jeans, an iron man shirt just to spite people, and a nice dark jacket. He was debating turning on the tv to play some video games when Natasha walked in to say they were going to start rollcall in a few minutes so they could get on the plane. He took a good look at her and decided to play a little.

“Wow, Nat, you dressing to break heart? Who let you wear that?” He smirked at her little grin when she saw his shirt. She was clothed in tight blue skinny jeans, a gray long sleeve button up shirt with white peeking out of it, topped off with brown boots.

“Well, you never know who you’re going to run into. For all I know I’m going to meet my soulmate while looking at old pictures of baby Steve.” He laughed and made his way to the elevator with her. As soon as the door closed she turned to him in an all business-like matter.

“Did you get the silly string?”

“Check.”

“Pizza from that one place he likes?”

“Check. Did you and Clint get the paintball guns?”

“Yes! We even got red, white, and blue ones. Sam’s got the cake right?”

“Already in the fridge, complete with patriotic colors and the taste of freedom.”

“Apron?”

“Oh my God, yes, Jarvis and I found a great one that looks like a dress.”

“Awesome. Silly hat?”

“Ch-No… Wait I… no. I forgot about that one.”

“Okay, don’t worry, I got an Uncle Sam top hat, it includes sparkles. Just remind me to get it from my room.”

“I’m going to be in so much trouble with Pepper.”

“Well worth it.”

“True.”

“This will be the best birthday he’s ever had.”

“Definitely.” Tony was happy and excited. Today he wasn’t going to think about his Aunt. Today was about Steve and having fun. Too bad sometimes things don’t go as planned.


	12. Happy Times Make Us Forget

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the wake of happiness it's easy to forget about all the bad things for a moment. Too bad moments are just that: Moments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I wasn't going to take so long on this chapter but it was by far the hardest chapter to get through. The research, the characters, the make sure it all makes sense. All of these places exist, but I've never been to them so bear with me. If you find mistakes please let me know. This was a very intense chapter for me and I even changed the format a little but nothing big I promise, not sure many of you will even notice, or so I hope. Virtual cookies to whoever finds the "Peggy memory line" in this chapter first. I hid it well and didn't italicize to see if you're all paying attention. Again, sorry for the late update but this chapter was hard on me. And I also procrastinated a bit at first. Sorry. Oh!, and Happy New Years everyone =) May 2016 be great for everyone.  
> Anyways, like always: Comments, tips, and complaints are always welcome. =) I always want to know what you all think.

Somewhere between 6:30 p.m. and 6:40 p.m.

“Open the door, Tony!” The knocking continued. It had been going on for at least five or six minutes.

“J, don’t let him in.” Tony said calmly trying to ignore the screams and the pounding at his door, just as he had been doing for the past five or six minutes, or possibly twelve or thirteen. He was intent on looking at the screens that were appearing in front of him, trying not to let the banging distract him.

“Tony! Damn it, we need to talk! I know you’re in there Tony, so open the damn door. Just come out! Come out or open this fu-” the soldier paused his door cursing for a moment, “Just open the door. Please I know you can hear me! Can you hear me Tony?!”

“I can hear you just fine Cap, no need to scream.” Tony didn’t even raise his voice, he knew Steve would hear him. Jarvis had speakers everywhere, the AI would make sure the soldier heard.

“Then open up. We need to talk about her.” He could picture Steve leaning his forehead against the door. That sounded like something Steve would do. He might check the footage later to see if that’s what the Cap was doing. But he had more important things to worry about right now.

“No, Steve.”

“Tony. Please, please. We need to talk about her. About Peggy.” That’s right, Agent Margaret Carter.  
  


* * *

 

  
10½ hours earlier. Around 8 a.m.

“Who let her on the plane?” Tony pointed at Darcy. It might seem as an accusation but everyone knew it was anything but.

“Lady Darcy wanted to come along my friend. I saw no harm in allowing her such privilege.” Thor, however, being slow in sarcasm now and then, jumped to defend the brunette teenager to his right.

“That’s fine Thor. We all just better keep an eye on her. We never know, she might be planning on stealing Cap over here. Keep him in her basement.”

“Oh, c’mon I’m smarter than that. If I wanted to steal Great Butt over here I wouldn’t keep him in the basement!”

“That’s not helping your case Darcy.” Jane quietly told the girl from the other side of Thor. Darcy crossed her arms and made a childish display of pouting.

“You know what, forget it, just don’t steal him. We have great plans for this man tonight.” Tony said with mock annoyance.

“Why aren’t we going to go faster Tony?” Clint made his way over to the controls, looking at the system, and it's predetermined speed, in confusion. And Tony understood why. While Natasha and Tony had the others join in to the evening’s planning by adding things here and there, they didn’t really let the team know the full extent of the schedule for the day. The only people who knew everything, exactly and thoroughly, were Iron Man and Black Widow. Well, Jarvis too, but he had sworn secrecy. So Clint didn't know what they were going to be doing for an hour.

“Because, Barton—my dear—we are going to watch Cap’s first movie on our way there.” That made the blond look up from his seat by Sam. His eyes narrowed dangerously.

“What? No… You didn’t…”

“Yes we did, Steve. We got your first movie ever from like 1943. I got to say, those tights look damn good on you.” Natasha responded for Tony. The evil glint in her eye noticeable from miles away.

“Good God… I need to get out of this plane.” Steve got up.

“Too late!” Tony slammed button on the endless button’s panel in front of him and the plane shook and took into the air jolting everyone that was not sitting. Steve, Nat, Clint, and Tony ended up on the floor.

“Not true, have you ever heard of my great talent of jumping out of planes without parachutes?” Steve asked no one in general as he tried to get up from the floor and helping Natasha up as well. Sam looked up and shook his head at him.

“You’re not ruining our day by jumpin’ out a this plane. So sit your bottom in that seat and you will enjoy this embarrassing old movie with the rest of us. Let’s go. Got it, Cap?” Tony saw Steve roll his eyes at Sam but went to sit down with the rest of them along one of the walls of the plane as a screen rolled down the opposite wall, the same they sometimes use for mission planning, and his old movie started to play. In no time at all Natasha was sitting with her head on Steve’s lap and her legs resting in Sam’s lap to his left. The opening credits started to roll and he looked down at Nat.

“By the way, the movie came out in 1944, I only filmed it in ’43.”

“Still counts Steve, now hush, I want to properly be able to make fun of you.”

“I hated this movie so much. It was nothing like me. They made me a lawyer! And changed my name to Grant, I mean seriously, that’s just my middle name and my last name is not Rogers in this thing. And they took away the serum and my… well actually, I didn’t have my shield at that point. But they also took away Bu-” Steve stopped, Tony was 100% sure of what his unfinished word was. “They didn’t mention anyone I cared about. Seriously guys, this movie is awful.” It didn’t mention his childhood partner, or soldier friends, or British lady. Then again, this was before…

“Steve, you’re in tights,” Tony interrupted his friend, “I’m pretty sure we’ll all watch it even if it were just you running and sweating for an hour… Actually we’d especially watch it then. God, why wasn’t that a thing? It would have sold so many tickets… I’m going to make that a thi-” Steve stared at the millionaire on the floor at Pepper’s feet (pillows everywhere,) Bruce at his side, Pepper just smiled as she ran her hand through dark hair. And even if Tony couldn’t see her from this angle he was sure she was giving Steve an apology through her face. Steve smiled back and then looked at Darcy to his right. The girl was leaning against Thor trying to get the popcorn between Pepper and Jane, Tony quickly made a grab for it and took the bowl just in time, leaving Darcy pouting once more. He heard Steve huff and rolled his eye. Come on the movie couldn’t be that bad.

“Okay, fine just don’t make me regret this or I swear I’ll jump out.”

“Okay, Cap, not too much teasing.” He knew very well that he was lying on behalf of everyone on the plane. But, none the less, he looked back at the screen that was already playing his friend’s embarrassment. This was going to be a good day. All of them, in the 21st century, having fun. He relaxed and sat back to enjoyed the movie.  


* * *

 

9½ hours earlier. Around 9:00 a.m.

“Are you _serious_?! _Who_ let her _on_ _my_ PLANE?! How COULD _you_?!” Tony was screaming really loud and yet he couldn’t get his frustration off his chest.

“Tony calm down, she didn’t mean to.” He heard his girlfriend faintly, buried beneath miles of frustration and anger and lack of a dramatic cinematic climax. He still turned to look at her.

“Pepper, how do you “not mean to” spoil a movie?! Especially like ten minutes before the end! Who _does_ that?” Tony turned back to the cause of all of his problems in the last ten minutes. Darcy.

“Oh come on, Stark. Did you think it was going to end any other way? That’s how all movies back then ended. Heroes save the day. Movies now end like that too. They always do!” Darcy looked like she refused to feel bad about ruining the movie and Tony wanted to push her off a building, he’d catch her! Just after giving her a small scare. 

“Tony, things back then were very black and white, it was obviously going to end up with the bad guy’s identity revealed and then being defeated by me, how in the world were you expecting anything else?” Steve was almost laughing at him and Tony’s anger deflated because how can he stay mad when a huge golden retriever is smiling at him.

“Yes, but she didn’t have to say it out loud, that just broke the moment. And that was just plain mean.” He looked up and Steve shook his head at him.

“Darcy apologize, if not we’ll never get off this plane to get food.” Steve said getting his leather jacket to cover his blue and white plaid button up. Dark blue jeans that went well with the rest of his clothes.

“I’m sorry for ruining something you already knew would happen. There can we eat now?” Darcy said in a very snarky voice that Tony would top but right now would let it go because they were going to go behind schedule if he kept pouting any longer.

“Yeah, sure whatever. Come on, we don’t want to be late for brunch.” Tony signaled Clint to open the pit door. The archer adjusted his dark sunglasses that matched his black jacket over his olive forest green T-shirt that no one could talk him out of wearing. Black jeans and plain white Nikes. He hit the necessary buttons and the door started to open; everyone excited for the day head.

But as soon as the door was open and everyone started to get out they realized that they were in the middle of National Mall Park… With a bunch of people around. Steve, Natasha and a couple of the others turned to glare at him. Tony just shrugged and went with it getting out of the jet. Sam and Darcy following him with the rest following.

“Hey, look Cap, it’s were we met!” Sam said completely oblivious to the situation.

“Why did you have to park us in the middle of such a crowded area Tony?” Natasha was next to him hissing as she looked around.

“Because I like to screw with people?” He answered with a grin. She only rolled her eyes. When everyone was out of the aircraft and they had everything they needed Tony told Jarvis to drive the plane back home so it didn’t get robbed.

“Where we headed? Hm?” Sam said, his arm slung around Steve. His pose showing off his wine red long sleeve shirt, with a white collar peeking out; pale blue jeans with faded accents. His red converse a bit stained around the edges, overall looking like an awesome side-kick. Tony couldn’t wait for Rhodey to meet him.

“We’re going to go eat to this one good place named 701 Restaurant.” Tony said distractedly pulling out his phone and checking that Rhodey was already at the place. It was 10:03 and according to Google it took 9 minutes to walk from their location to the place. And then another 7 minutes later on to walk from the restaurant to the International Spy Museum. It was going to be great.

“Hey, why did you choose the 701?” Pepper asked as she got close.

“It was the platoon Steve’s friend, Barnes was in. Well 107, and I think it still counts. Oh, and I believe also his father was in it in World War I. I just found it funny there was a seven-oh-one in the area. I wonder if he’ll see the connection.” He looked up to see Steve looking at him, smiling softly, and then shaking his head.

“I think he noticed.” He turned to Pepper, who for some reason looked proud of him, and kissed her hand.

“Sam, race ya to the place!” Darcy shouted as she ran off, Jane screaming after her.

“Lady Darcy! Do you even know where this banquet will be held?” Thor called after her as he held on to Jane.

“We’ll wing it!” Sam shouted as he started running after her. Clint looked after them then turned to Natasha.

“Ten dollars say I’ll beat them.” He then set off running without even a reply. Natasha made a ‘why’ hand gesture and then just ran her hand through her hair in mild irritation. Suddenly an idea jumped in Tony’s mind…

“Nat!” The red head turned to look at Tony, “You know where it is?” She nodded. “Bet ya a hundred dollars, you can’t beat them.” The red head glared and set off running. Not for the money but to have some fun. Steve laughed and then stopped abruptly. Looking at Tony smirking.

“I’ll bet ya three hundred that I can beat them all. Deal?”

“De-” Tony hadn’t even finished the word when the blond was already in a dead sprinting rapidly catching up to the rest. And in those following 5 seconds Tony realized he’d already lost three hundred dollars.

“I believe you have just lost, my friend.” Thor called out from behind laughing with Jane.  
  


* * *

 

  
8 hours earlier. Around 10:30 a.m. or 10:50 a.m.

“That was an excellent feast, friend Tony! My gratitude for providing it!”

“It really was Mr. Stark, thank you very much.” Jane was very grateful to Tony both for paying, and for putting up with Darcy through the entirety of the meal and not kill her, and it was very noticeable. Tony just smiled and lifted his hand in an ‘it’s okay’ gesture.

“Where are we going next?” Darcy popped up next to Tony, he resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the girl, as he held the door open for everyone as they left, Thor and Jane, Clint, Bruce, Rhodey—who had finally caught up with them—deep in conversation with Sam. He knew they’d get along.

“The International Spy Museum!” Natasha said as she passed by dragging Steve by the hand, the soldier still had some cake smeared by his ear and Tony pointed it out as he was pulled by. Steve quickly wiped it and thanked him. Oh they were going to get everyone fat with the amount of cake they had ordered along the day. Each one a little more ridiculous than the last. They were also all wearing little friendship bracelets, courtesy of Darcy. He had to admit they were kind of cool. Steve stopped a few paces ahead, also bringing Natasha to a stop to wait for Tony who in turn was waiting for Pepper.

“Wait, the Spy Museum? Seriously? WHY?!”

“I thought it might be fun? I also like to screw with people.” Natasha laughed at both men’s reactions.

“Yes, Tony, you’ve mentioned that. Also, Steve it was group choice. You just weren’t part of that group, anyways, we thought it’d be kind of cool to see what history says about us. They even have a James Bond car!” Then she paused, “Wait. You _have_ seen a Bond movie right?”

“Yes Nat, ask Clint, I have.” The petite woman turned to the front of the group to where the archer was.

“Clint?!” Clint turned and nodded his head in acknowledgment that he was listening. “You _have_ made Steve watch _From Russia with Love_ , and _Licence to Kill_ , and _Die Another Day_ , and _Skyfall_ , and stuff right?”

“Course, Tasha, who do you take me for?”

“Just checking. Don’t want him to miss the value in the Bond car exhibit.”

“Also,” Tony spoke up with Pepper finally by his side, “did you know there is like a gun exhibit, with like ring guns, and umbrella guns, and pipe guns. You know what guys? I think I’m going to get myself a pipe gun!”

“A… pipe gun?” Clint had the most confused face Tony had ever seen.

“Yes, like a cigar pipe? You know those fancy old things. Speaking of old, do you by chance have one Steve?”

“No, I don’t, I don’t even smoke Tony.” Steve was laughing and Tony was sure he wasn’t the only one to think that sound was beautiful after all that the blue-eyed man had gone through recently.

“Well, I’m more excited about the Rubik cube.” Natasha said, she had a pack of gum in her hand and offered them to the others.

“Rubik cube?” Pepper seemed quite intrigued and Tony couldn’t blame her, he was too.

“At the gift store they have these Rubik cubes that are really safes. I want one and I’m getting one.” She made a little shoulder dance and seemed so happy that everyone else could only smile at her. Sometimes Natasha just acted so childish that it was adorable. Well, in truth the same comment could be made for Steve as well… Actually any one of them really. Huh, interesting. That’s when he decided to speak up.

“Well, I’m going for the historical knowledge I want to acquire.” He lifted his chin and smirked. He heard Clint scoff at him.

“Oh, come on, you’re only going to see how many pop culture references you can identify.”

“At lease I’m not the loser that’s going to see how many wrong pieces of information I can find about my former employer.”

“He’s right Clint, even I know that they probably have nothing on S.H.I.E.L.D., I mean until recently we were like a myth among lower ranking government offices and civilians. They probably have nothing on us. Or the S.S.R. for that matter.” Tony saw as Natasha spared a glance at Steve when she mentioned the S.S.R., something about that being the early S.H.I.E.L.D., he was part of it back in his day; so were Barnes and his British lady.

“Hey, I just want to see! Don’t judge.”

“C’mon guys before the others ye-”

“Yo’ guys! What’s taking so long?!” Rhodey yelled at them from his spot, ready to cross E St NW. The others about 20 meters back, they started to speed walk.

“We’re coming!” Steve yelled back.

“Yeah, you guys talk more than a bunch of gossiping teenagers in high school lunch hour.” Tony cold hear the laugh in Rhodey’s voice as he called to them.

“Yeah, and walk slower than my grandma.” Sam added shaking his head in mock disappointment.

“Excuse me Sam, but who beat you all, even though he had a 3 minute late start earlier?” Tony couldn’t hold back his laughter at that, Steve had Sam good. The dark skinned man didn’t answer and Steve continued. “Yep, that’s what I thought.” He won and no one could tell the super soldier otherwise. Not that Tony or anyone else—as far as he could tell—would try to, anyways.

“Let’s just hurry gentlemen. We don’t want to be late.” Natasha said going ahead and crossing the street.

She was right, they didn’t want to be late.  
  


* * *

  
5½ hours earlier. Around 1:30 p.m.

Tony walked out of the International Spy Museum playing with his hollow Dr. Pepper can, his own Pepper walking on his right side with an amused look on her face.

“I can’t believe you actually spent money on that.” Pepper shook her head but that didn’t diminish Tony’s enthusiasm.

“Come on Pep, it’s the cleverest thing ever, I have a public Pepper,” he pointed to her, “and a secret Pepper.” He held the can up that was now stuffed with crumpled dollars and receipts left over from his most recent purchases.

“I also don’t know why you had to ask for change back. I mean we have the card Tony, and you have several hundreds in your wallet, so why wo-”

“Pepper, what else was I going to put in my Dr. Pepper safe? You know ‘a few hundreds’ wouldn’t have been enough to make it look full.” He looked at her with a ‘duh’ look so loud that she just walked away to go stand by Jane on the sidewalk while the rest of the fools walked out. Just then Natasha decided to walk out with her own safe, the Rubik cube she had been so excited to get.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She looked so happy, like a little kid on her birthday. Ironic since the birthday boy himself got more books than toys. But that was Steve’s choice, Tony just paid.

“Always my pleasure Nat.” When the time to pay everything everyone had chosen came, instead of just paying themselves like they had planned, to Tony and Pepper decided to just pay everything. What Pepper hadn’t been expecting, though, was that after she swiped the card—you know that part where they ask you if you want cash back—Tony would rush in and ask for $100 worth in coins and one-dollar bills, oh, and a single five-dollar bill at then end when they ran out of ones; the same that he was now stuffing into his Dr. Pepper safe. Tony didn’t care to be honest. He wanted something to put in his safe. Of course with all that they bought, the store was more than happy to give him all their change.  He absentmindedly handed Natasha a couple bills, which she took, to put in her cubic safe.

“Tony! Do we have anywhere to put these in?” Clint came out carrying a few bags. At a glance Tony could see a couple books, and a mug, and a shirt or something, and a cap, and some other things. Thor and Darcy came out next before Tony could answer him; Darcy was even wearing an International Spy T-shirt over her simple plum, long-sleeve shirt. The red of the shirt still matched perfectly with her dark-grey, skinny jeans with ripped accents. However, the black beanie she had on earlier was now gone and on top of Thor’s head, It went well with his plain white, V-neck T-shirt and casual grey vest. His black jeans matching the beanie and the sunglasses he had gotten from the gift store. The only thing out of place on his outfit seemed to be the bright red pins that read ‘I wasn’t here’.

“Um… Quite honestly I have no idea.” Tony scratched his head trying to think.

“Oh, come on, you just bought us two-thirds of this store, and you didn’t think about where to put all the bags.”

“Honestly no, I did not.” He turned to look at Pepper who was on the phone. Just then Steve, Sam, Rhodey, and Bruce came out with several bags each. Full, the contents ranging from books, to documentaries, to mugs, to pens, to games and toys, and even jewelry.

“There’s a couple more inside.” Bruce ran back in, and quickly back out, with three more bags.

“Did you really have to buy me all this Tony? I feel… It feels weird.” Steve was twitchy, even if not all the bags were his, they all got between four and seven each, at least. Steve just got about twenty or thirty… technicalities… It was his fake birthday, seriously, what did you expect?

“Come on Cap, I need to spoil you.” He was getting sick of all the thanks by this point, he was giving them gifts, all of them, and it’s not like he couldn't afford it. “Seriously Steve, this is nothing, so stop sweating and take it. All of it. And see,” He held up his Dr. Pepper safe, “it’s all cool fake spy stuff. Hey Clint do you think we could replace a couple of Fury’s things with these?” Clint shook his head in a firm no.

“Okay boys,” Pepper came up to them with the phone in her hands. “Someone from the company is going to come pick all these bags up. So I hope you all know what you got, or I guess we can work that out at the tower. You’re all staying over right?” They all nodded, except Jane and Darcy who seemed a bit confused and Pepper nodded her head at them smiling. “Yes, you’re all sleeping over at the tower tonight. So we’ll work out the bags there. He should be here soon.”

“What? It’s a 4 hour drive to New York, at least.” Darcy looked confused and intrigued at the same time.

“We have partners in the area and some of our people work down here. And since it _is_ a 4 hour drive the poor man will have to drive back to New York, Tony, you will tip really good.” Tony simply nodded and handed her his wallet. A few minutes, a black Stark Industries vehicle, and $300 of tips later they were thanking and waving at the driver of the SUV named Reece, a nice young man who couldn’t be older than 25, as he drove away. After asking for autographs and pictures of course. Then Tony turned to the party people.

“Ladies and gentlemen, should we keep going?”

“Where are we going now?” Darcy jumped excitedly, really, the girl seemed no older than 12 with how she behaved and it was adorable, no wait, she was still Tony’s biggest foe. She was _not_ adorable.

“To Zola!” Natasha once again answered for him.

“What?” Steve was really confused.

“We’re eating at Zola, it’s right there.” She pointed to the corner, where they all clearly saw the ‘Zola’ sign, it really couldn’t be more than a two minute walk. “It’s a really good restaurant, or so the reviews say. And it has this kind of spy theme still, Tony, Clint and I thought it would be amusing.” She grinned.

“You seriously want me to eat at a place that shares the same name as a guy who was working for Red Skull? The dude, or computer thing, tried to kill me not too long ago. You too Natasha!” He looked very shocked, and Tony couldn’t help but laugh.

“That’s half the fun Cap.” Clint said patting his shoulder. “C’mon it’ll be fun. Kinda like laughing and then eating on top his grave.” He started pushing him towards the place.

“That’s a bit creepy Clint.” Sam said following with Rhodey close behind. Tony offered Pepper his arm, as did Thor with Jane, and they headed after the other men, Darcy and Natasha behind them. Tony couldn’t help but think the look on Steve’s face was well worth the whole Zola thing.  
  


* * *

 

  
3½ hours earlier. Around 2:40 p.m. and 3:00 p.m.

“I have to say that was a really good place.” Steve admitted to the group on their walk back to the Smithsonian, his words were accepting even if his face wasn’t. They were finally on their way to the great Captain America exhibit they had all been waiting for all day.

“It really was, and it even had the whole mysterious theme to it. I can see it as a place for a romantic date too.” Pepper said looking at Tony. He could only smile back.

“Guys can we get a cab? It’s a twenty minute walk back…” Darcy whined from the back of the group with Sam. Clint rolled his eyes at her, but then he opened his mouth to speak, evil written all over his face.

“I bet I could run the whole way back. What you think Darcy? You in?” The whole group paused.

“How much we talking about?” Darcy asked, though to be honest, Tony could tell her heart wasn’t in it. But before Clint could ask Rhodey spoke up.

“Twenty says I beat you both.” His friend couldn’t pass up the opportunity given he didn’t get to earlier, and from what he heard it was fun. Tony had to admit it was entertaining.

“I bet forty that I could run there with something on my back.” Steve interrupted, looking around; clearly seeking the ‘something’ he mentioned.

“OH! Can I be that something? You win money and I get to not walk.” Darcy exclaimed with her hand in the air, her heart really into it this time. Steve made a come here motion and she responded with a victory air punch.

“Of course, what you say Clint? James?” Clint looked like he was going to drop out but then didn’t get the chance.

“Sixty says we beat you, Mr. Fossil.” Natasha said going to stand by Clint, who was starting to look paler by the second.

“Did you just bet against Steve?” Bruce looked quite scandalized at Natasha’s obvious irrational bet. Tony was seconds away from hysterical laughter at Clint’s look, poor guy seemed seconds away from wetting himself.

“Wait, Rhodey, who’s your partner?” Sam asked before a loud voice broke through the group.

“I shall gamble the worth of eighty of your paper currency that I shall be able to success in carrying my beloved Jane before all of you to the honorary display of our great captain, and friend, Steve.” Jane looked more surprised than anyone else at what Thor had just said, how did she get involved? Tony finally let go.

“If anyone is wondering Tony won’t partake in this.” Pepper told them firmly and Tony had no reason to argue, he preferred to watch this play out.

They all quickly agreed and a few minutes later found them all aligned in front of Bruce, Pepper, and Tony. A cab was waiting with Pepper and Bruce already inside since it was agreed that once the others set off running they would hop in the cab and drive there to see who won.

The teams ended up being Steve and Darcy, Clint and Natasha, Rhodey and Sam, and Thor and Jane.

“On your marks. Get ready. SET. RUN!” In a blink Darcy, Natasha, Sam and Jane jumped on the backs of their teammates, who in turn started running like if their lives depended on it. As fast as he could Tony got in the cab and yelled for him to go.

“Who are you betting for?” Pepper asked with a look of happiness that Tony loved.

“Honestly? Steve. He has more experience.” Tony would always bet his money on Steve, he knew for some reason Steve would never fail him. Besides, he was sure Steve could do anything, even fly his way to heaven if it was necessary.

“So am I, Thor isn’t used to running long distances, he usually flies, or rides on horse, or you know—only has a small distance to sprint. And he rarely has to worry about extra weight. Steve is used to running long distances with the army and all, carrying things—provisions. Thor might be stronger in a fist to fist fight but in a race, like this one, I think Steve has it.” Bruce, ever the logical analyzing brain in the group gave them his opinion.

“Yeah, but Jane’s weight probably goes unnoticed to Thor all things considering. Don’t you think?”

“What we’re saying, Pep, is that Steve has some experience with this, from his army years.”

“We’ll I’m sure excited to see who wins.” Her excitement shining through.

“Agreed.” Bruce said. Tony didn’t say anything. He was sure of who was going to win. After all, Captain America had always been his hero. No matter how big or how small the mission was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to check in on here, I am still alive and as I keep informing everyone I plan on sticking with this story. This was just my last semester of college and it was harder than I expected. I hope to have something up by the end of the week. I am also graduating on Friday. So wish me luck. Sorry for the long wait. Also I am open for prompts if any of you all want anything don't be afraid to ask.


	13. Memories Aren't Always Awful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve opens up a little about his past, it's only fair since Tony's been opening up so much about his. Sometimes we don't realize the things that seem least significant are some of the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. That is all I can say. It's been so long, but as promised I have a new chapter. I can only beg for forgiveness from all of you who waited so patiently, I hope you all still enjoy this. I am now a college graduate, so yay for me? Also I would like to warn there is so much dialogue in this one and if anyone needs more help to clear up the setting or actions of the characters don't hesitate to ask. I have some things to say at the end. And like always: Comments, complaints, and tips are always welcome!

_“Anna! Look-a this!” Young 10-year-old Tony burst into the house; he could barely contain his excitement and it was overflowing into his pace. So much he didn’t see Jarvis fast enough and he slammed right into the tall man._

_“Woah, where are you heading in such great speeds Master Stark?” Jarvis asked hugging the boy to his now sore abdomen. He knelt down before the boy and grabbed his backpack off of him and his school lunch bag. He noticed the paper in his hand._

_“I’m luking f-for Anna, have, have you seen ‘er Jay?” Tony tried to look around Jarvis but his guardian was having none of it._

_“Might this have something to do with the paper you have in your hand?” The 10-year old nodded with enthusiasm. “May I see it?” The brown eyed kid nodded even more excitedly at him, handing the paper over with enough force to slightly crumple the edges._

_“Look! It says that they- that they’re doing a exhibit for-for Captan Merica! It’s his 35 th! And that-” Jarvis stopped him mid-explanation with a hand to his mouth. He looked at his care taker quizzically. _

_“Master might I recommend you taking a deep breath? Seems you are a little out of it from all the running you seem to have been doing, did you run here all the way from the bus stop? That’s beside the point, the point is that you are way too excited about this newspaper, makes it nearly impossible to understand what you are trying to say.”_

_“Just read it!” Tony’s smile didn’t falter for even a second. Jarvis took his advice and read the article that got the kid so happy. After only a few sentences he seemed to know exactly why.  His face had a slight frown to it but he was determined to not let the child see it, none of what happened was Tony’s fault._

_“Oh dear, I can see why you are so happy about this Master Stark.” Jarvis stood up, holding the paper, Tony didn’t notice anything wrong with the smile offered to him._

_“Here is what we’ll do Master Stark, you look for Mrs. Jarvis, I believe she was in the back gardens or possibly the library. Go find her and I’ll meet you in the kitchens for a snack and there you can show her the article. How does that sound?”_

_“Yes! I’ll find her! Take care of the paper!” He took a few steps towards the back gardens then stopped and told Jarvis in all seriousness, “Don’t let anything happen to the paper ok?” And with that he ran off. Jarvis looking after him. He looked down at the newspaper in his hand and scanned over it again. He moved towards the kitchen, eyes glued to the words. He finally got to the table and sat down at a chair. The article was about how they were going to form a moving exhibit in memory of the 35 th anniversary of the disappearance of Captain America. And it was the 5th anniversary of the death of Howard Stark, even though the article didn’t mention that part of the story he knew the media wanted to bring attention to that as well. It was going to be worse in 5 years when it was the 40 and 10 year anniversaries.  In this exhibit there were going to be videos, pictures, original artifacts. Things that placed Captain Rogers with Peggy Carter and Howard Stark. _

_For the moment Jarvis’ biggest worry was that the media was going to want to milk this as much as they could. They would probably try to seek out Tony. And Miss Carter. Try to get statements. It worried Jarvis that seeing Miss Carter so much in the news would affect Tony and bring up unwanted memories of her departure, when she just up and left them five years ago. She didn’t even say goodbye to Jarvis. He didn’t want to talk about her himself and he supposes that Tony just didn’t want to talk about her because, as he knew, Tony had a very rough life. Too rough for such a young person, and he probably didn’t take well to the abandonment and Jarvis didn’t want to pressure the child, even though he knew some day he would have to. Sooner rather than later. But he was so tired._

_He always wondered what happened, how Miss Carter excuse herself with Tony. He never told Jarvis and Jarvis wouldn’t ask. He had tried to contact Miss Carter for weeks after he came back from arranging things in Mr. Stark’s Malibu house after his death. He had left Tony in her charge and when he returned she was nowhere to be found, Tony wouldn’t speak a word about what happened. Jarvis soon discovered that she had changed her address and phone number, she also wouldn’t take him at her work number._

_Finally he demanded to know what had happened from Mr. Stane since he seemed to know more of the matter than he was letting on. Mr. Stane had told him that Miss Carter decided that Tony was too much of an obstacle between her and her work in D.C. While Jarvis didn’t quite believe that he also could do nothing but feel confusion as to why she had left not only Tony—when the boy needed her the most—but also him and Anna. After a few more weeks that confusion turned into a feeling of deep hurt, and then worry, and then betrayal. And then, finally, longing. Longing to see and talk to her again, to know what happened that was so bad that they couldn’t fix like all the other times. Jarvis knew her, they were best friends, they went through too much together, Miss Carter would have never done that, and Miss Carter loved Tony as much as Jarvis did. But in the end, Jarvis respected her enough to not question anymore, but he still missed her. And Anna missed her. And Tony missed her so much that he wouldn’t even mention her, ever._

_“Oh Miss Carter… How we miss you.” Jarvis sighed as he waited Anna’s and Tony’s arrival back into the kitchen._

* * *

 

“You two cheated!” Darcy was beside Steve as she glared at Sam and Rhodey while they all waited for Clint to stop vomiting into the trashcan, Natasha rubbing circles into his back. Tony had to admit that it was kind of funny to watch Clint go from “Yay, I made it!” to “I better make it to that trashcan.”

“Oh, come on Darcy, you two still won.” Rhodey answered her, Sam didn’t even look sorry. Tony was informed that half way through the race Sam and Rhodey had switched because they thought that would give them a better chance of winning. It didn’t. Steve still won, followed by Thor, then Clint, and finally Sam. And then Clint got sick from running to that extent so soon after lunch.

“Lady Darcy! You must not feel cheated in this gamble. You were given the privilege to boast about your victory on this glorious day!”

“True, thought I am surprised you didn’t beat me and Darcy.” Steve said to the Asgardian; he seemed more surprised than the others when he beat Thor in the race.

“Captain, I’m afraid I was more preoccupied with the care of my dear Jane on my back, I wished not to cause her discomfort.” Tony watched as Steve then turned to Darcy as if the thought that he could have been too careless with her had just occurred to him.

“I’m good Steve.” She smiled at him and he looked relieved. “Is Clint done puking? I want to go in already.” Natasha turned to her and offered a thumbs up; Clint was wiping his lips on his sleeve.

“Ok so we should go in now.” Tony decided to chime in and with that they all walked in. A sense of excitement and fascination took over them, well except for Steve, he seemed a bit… sad. Tony suddenly hoped he didn’t make the wrong choice of coming here. After all, everything here would remind him of Barnes and his Agent.

Up front the first thing in the exhibit was a greeting on the wall by President Matthew Ellis that read _“Welcome Back, Cap.”_ And under that:

_“Too scrawny and frail to enlist in the US military during World War II, Steve Rogers volunteered to receive the experimental Super-Soldier Serum. Enhanced to the pinnacle of human physical potential, he became Captain America—The living legend and embodiment of freedom.”_

Tony looked to Steve, and he could feel nothing but the urge to make his face bright again. “So Capsicle, exactly how ‘scrawny and frail’ were you?”

Steve blushed because of course he would, “I thought you’d read my file by now Tony.” He had, but that was something Steve didn’t have to know. Tony had actually read everyone’s file. And memorized birthdays and some other random facts. Like that Natasha could be a ballet instructor with her experience and who knew that Clint had a close relationship with the circus.

“Com’n who has time for that?” Was the chosen response.

“It looks like 5’4 that’s not too ba… oh 95 pounds? Yeah that’s bad.” Darcy read from another poster on another wall.

“I want to see how much taller than Steve we could have been!” Clint took Darcy’s hand and rushed to the wall designed to alternate between pre-serum Steve and post. And just like that everyone broke off into groups and started to look at different thing. Steve turned to Tony who was abandoned by Pepper, who went with Natasha to look at the outfits of the Howling Commandos. It seemed Thor and Jane were following Sam towards a motorcycle that looked oddly familiar to the one files said Steve used back then. Tony doubted it was the same one because he thought it was destroyed in a Hydra base raid.

“Come on Tony I’ll be your guide.” Tony glared at him and Steve could only smile.

“Fine, but you can’t do the voice, y’know the ‘And to your left you’ll see my so-and-so’ and stuff like that, got that?” He could never be upset at this overgrown puppy.

“Aye, aye, captain.” Steve saluted and stood to attention.

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” Rolling his eyes Tony started to walk toward the bike he saw out of the corner of his eye. “So what’s this?”

“That’s… That’s my old bike. I used to deliver papers on it. There was so much trouble with that bike, I remember taking the last of my mother’s savings to buy that.” Steve shook his head at the memory. “Buck was so mad, it was one of the worst fight’s we’d ever had.” Tony was instantly intrigued. He could imagine Mrs. Rogers being upset at the use of her savings but not Barnes.

“The last of?... Your mom’s savings? Wasn’t she… you know, upset?”

“Nah, my ma, well, had passed away years earlier, she died in 1936, the same year I graduated high school, I remember thinking that if I hadn’t been at school I could have spent more time with her. But that’s not what she wanted.” Steve got a faraway look and Tony was too captivated to stop it. He rarely got to see this side of Steve and every time he did he couldn’t stop himself from wanting to know more about his childhood idol. “She took as much money as she could and saved it by the time she passed away she had about $400 saved in the house. That was so much. Of course not now, but back then, in the middle of the depression… it was so much. I didn’t understand how she had that much money, it didn’t make sense with my meds and hers. I mean I knew she would do nurse stuff around the block. It wasn’t until later that I realized she wasn’t buying herself all the medicine she should have, she was saving it for me. Tony, she was literally killing herself for me. She knew she was gonna die and she just helped it, slowly and painfully and-” Steve stopped, and looked at Tony, suddenly aware of himself and where he was. “Well enough of sad… I-”

“No Steve, keep going, I want to know. And you obviously want to get this off your chest.” Steve nodded and continued, Tony was secretly thrilled that Steve would confide in him something of this subject so he listened carefully.

“Okay, I’ll explain but let’s move over there.” Steve pointed to the display of Bucky, and Tony suddenly felt like this was a bad idea. But it was too late. They made their way over to the wall and Tony heard the voice reading to them.

_“Best friends since childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steven Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield. Barnes is the only Howling Commando to give his life in service of his country.”_

They stopped in front of the wall, and quickly Tony read. From what he gathered Barnes had three siblings and he and Steve were best of friends. Then Steve stared to speak.

“It was an awful time to be alive. Bucky, he had it bad. Life was never good for my friend; he was two years older than me. He had three younger sisters at one point. Jane, the youngest died about, um, at the start of the depression and not long after that Bucky’s pa died. Then, his ma didn’t hold out much, losing her child and husband in the span of 6 months destroyed her. Jane was the youngest and always the brightest, she was so full of life. The sharpest thing I remem’er ‘bout her was that she had bright eyes, green, like Mr. Barnes. But sickness was easy to come across back then after they passed Mrs. Barnes lost it; she fell ill herself and while my ma did all she could, Mrs. Barnes just didn’t have the heart, the strength to pull through.” Tony felt bad for the girl and mother; she was no one he had ties to but her death did move his heart and he could tell Steve cared about her. He could already tell that the Barnes-Rogers family suffered through a lot.

“I wish that had been the worst of it. But then Chloe, the second youngest, the girl had such a fierce spirit and had a habit of not letting anyone tell her anything. She ran into some desperate damn fools in the street one day. Bucky gave her money to buy food because she liked to go to the market. These… ugh, they scoped her out and decided it’d be smart to rob ‘er. Food was costly ‘nd everyone needed money, and so many people were desperate and unemployed. Least that’s what Buck and I told ourselves to not kill them ourselves when they got arrested. She sustained too many injuries because… witnesses said that she wouldn’t let the damn bag go. Of course she wouldn’t. She and I were too much alike in that aspect.” Steve’s eyes were misty as he looked at the picture of his deceased friend on the memory wall. Tony barely wanted to breathe. He briefly looked around and saw that the closest of their group was far from them. Steve continued as he started to walk toward more pictures of Bucky to the left of where they were standing. And Tony noticed a dark curly-haired girl standing between Steve and Barnes. He cleared his throat and the blond turned to him somewhat startled.

“Who was she? One of Barnes’ sisters?” Looking back to the picture.

“Yeah, Rebecca. Rebecca was the one I spent the most time with, since we were the same age.”

“The oldest I’m assuming?” Steve turned to Tony and nodded, a faint smile on his face. He desperately wished, no… he _needed_ that girl to be ok. So many bad things couldn’t happen to that unfortunate idiot of Barnes.

“Yeah, unfortunately, not more than two years after the passing of Chloe my own mama passed away. Like I said earlier she left me some money. Did I ever tell you I can draw?” Tony knew this on some level, he’d read somewhere—Steve’s own file probably—that he’d attended art school for a year. He still shook his head because Steve had never mentioned it.

“Well, turns out my ma had saved some money so I could go to art school. It was actually one of the last things she told me. She knew that some part of me always wanted to go to art school.” Tony suddenly understood, a mother’s highest priority is for her son’s dream to come true. “That jerk was there when my mom told me she wanted me to try to go to school. She even made him promise to look after me. I moved in with Bucky that same year. He, Becca and I were one big happy family. When my ma died he was already working as a bricklayer, well established in his job. They were one of the best paid, Bucky would never had let his sisters go hungry.” Steve started to move again and Tony followed. Who would have thought a bike could have such a rich history?

“Anyways, that first year, those two whole semesters were already paid so we thought it was going to be alright, I always said we could use that money for something else but Bucky didn’t bend, he’d never have let me take that money for something else; especially with what my ma had told him. But you know, we were wrong. I got sick too often, without my mama there to take care of me we had to pay for other health people, doctors, and stuff. Becca was a growing girl and she needed clothes. I would buy her some and then say that someone from school gave ‘em to me. And it worked at first.” Steve broke for a second. And Tony wanted more than anything for him to continue. He briefly wondered how they had made it to the restrooms. He watched Steve take a drink from the fountain and realized he needed water, too. He drank as Steve continued.

“Bucky started to get suspicious when all of a sudden a brand new pair of shoes appeared in his size.” Tony raised an eyebrow.

“You honestly thought you could get away with that Rogers?” After he swallowed the cool water.

“A guy could dream right? He didn’t say anything. All hell broke loose when it came time to enroll for the second year. I straight up told Buck I didn’t have the money to pay that. And even if I did I wouldn’t use it for something so stupid. He was furious wanting to know why I would think using the money for anything other than education was a good idea. He went on and on how that was my ma’s wishes and one couldn’t just go against their mother’s dying wishes… I shouted back that, well that Rebecca needed stuff. That my mother wouldn’t have wanted for us to suffer if that money could be used for other things and they were more needed, I told him I needed to feel like I was doing more. Told him I had about $60 or $70 left. He left the house he was so angry. Becca went to look for him and he finally… Well, didn’t see reason but understood that it was my money and that medicine and clothes were sometimes the most important things. Rebecca came up with the idea of the bike, you know.” They were standing in front of the bike again. Tony saw Rhodey, Darcy, and Clint head towards the kid’s section out of the corner of his eye, but god knew this bike was the most interesting thing in the whole damn place.

“Bucky and I argued for some says because I wanted to find a job, but he wasn’t gonna let me out of the house to do any manual work, not with my condition back then. And I mean, it wasn’t like there were many places that would even hire me t’ begin with. But then she came to me at random one day, so happy, her dark curls bouncing, she had on a blue flowered dress, I remember that when I had bought that dress for her I knew they would bring out her eyes. She had blue eyes like Buck. Anyways, she wanted me to go with her wherever she was going to take me. She wanted to show me this green bike. It was $30, a high price but that was a very good quality bike. On the way home she off handedly mentioned that the newspaper stand was looking for a delivery boy. Subscriptions started to be a thing, and stands sometimes didn’t like to have to do the delivery themselves. They hired boys, but they weren’t always old enough to ask for the money owed. I was sold to the idea on the spot, because even if $12 weren’t much a week, they were something.” Steve looked at Tony, and even when Tony cold feel it, he didn’t want to look away from the bike. Some part of him wanted to brake the glass and take it for him. He went through too much to get that bike.

“When did you tell Bucky about your idea?”

“We told him that night. He wasn’t sold at first, ‘course not. But he gave up quickly. I remember him saying that between her and I we were gonna be the death of him.” Tony heard Steve make a sound that sounded like a small laugh, but too dark and distorted. He chose to ignore it. “We went to buy the bike the next day, gave some rounds to the block, Becca was so happy on that thing. We then looped around and talked to Mr. Woods, the guy from the stand, and I got the job. Somehow. Bucky was happy for me, even though not too happy. We took what was left of the money and indulged a little. We went to Clooney Island and I gave some to Rebecca so she could get something nice. She got the nicest hair pin, it was a flower, wait no… a butterfly… No, wait… I can’t remember… I-” Steve looked at Tony and Tony saw the concentration in his eyes.

“She said she’d wait, that she’d save it to wear it on her first date… But I can’t remember what it was...” Tony nodded in understanding. No one expects him to remember everything. Tony started to walk towards where he saw a video of Bucky and Steve laughing. Next to it some footage of Steve in what seemed to be the midst of some military planning. As they made their way to it Tony realized people didn’t realize that Barnes and Steve were basically bothers. Well, actually they did, what people didn’t realize was that Steve had more family, family he lost. Other people who were important too. Steve cared about so many people, and they cared for him, too, his mom; his dad; and apparently the Barnes family too, Chloe; Jane; Becca; and his Agent Carter. He just had one question.

“Did she?” He looked into blue eyes and Tony couldn’t tell if they were sad, or fond, or what really. And Tony still needed to know this girl made it.

“Did she what?”

“Did Rebecca wear the pin on her first date?” They had made it to the wall, videos playing like if nothing was wrong. Steve looked at the one with Bucky. He looked at them and so did Tony. They were laughing. Like if the death of so many loved ones never happened. Most people would never know how much these ‘Two boys from Brooklyn’ really suffered before the war had even started.

“I don’t know. And I probably will never know. Buck and I, we died before we got to see her go on her first date.” He smiled at Tony and this time Tony could see the tears in his eyes. Time to change the subject. He glanced at the other video, and saw Steve in black and white pointing at points on a map; in his hand was a compass with the picture of a woman he recognized. Agent Carter.

“You had a picture of her in your compass?” He quickly needed to distract Steve so that he didn’t cry. Steve for his part turned to him in clear confusion. Tony looked at the screen again and then back at Steve’s face just in time for recognition to register. Tony saw him smile, a loving smile.

“Oh, yeah, I had that. The Commandos would make fun of me for that. I was kind of mad at that camera guy for that take. Bucky talked me down; he said that if they did put in in movies or what not, like I was worried they’d do, that it would only mean Peggy would see how important she was to me.” Then Steve turned to him, grabbing his arm. “Wanna meet her?” His face was bright and Tony felt like he was mentally reeling from the mood changes.

“Meet her?” Tony knew the confusion was on his face.

“Yeah, Peggy, wanna meet her? I mean, she did this video where she talks about me, she talks about herself too, want to?” His face was open and Tony couldn’t say no.

“Sure. Lead the way, Cap.” Tony couldn’t help but be curious, Steve had opened up so much about a bike, how much was he going to open up about the love of his life? No matter how much, he couldn’t help but hope no one interrupted them as he followed Steve.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I want to apologize once again.  
> I also want to say that many of the dates I took from Steve's SHIELD file, like when he was a newspaper boy, and his mother's death. Just type "Steve Rogers Shield File" in google and it's the first image that comes up.  
> Rebecca was one of Bucky's sisters in the comics I believe, and since I didn't find anything for the other two, well, I made it up. The background for Bucky's family was my pure imagination.  
> Also, I want to make it clear I meant for Steve's fondness and focus on here to be purely sibling love. I think Steve loved Rebecca very much, but not romantically, only like the rest of Bucky's family.  
> I want to say I think I got carried away with this one. I was watching CA:TWS and in the back of the museum scene I saw a green bike and grew fond of it, I decided that bike deserved to have it's fictional story told, since I figured no one would ever do it justice.   
> And finally, I would love to hear your opinions. And if anyone would like request anything or simply want to talk you I'd be happy to and you can visit my tumblr at:  
> greenbrownandsilver.tumblr.com


	14. Auntie Peggy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are moments when the most unexpected words bring back memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know I was gone for like a year or more. I'm sorry. I know I fell off the face of the earth, in my defense it was for important reasons, at least for the most part. I’m an aunt again. The baby was in critical condition for a month and a half but she pulled through. My mom was in the hospital and had surgery. Also I was in the hospital but I'm good now. I didn't have internet for a while because we couldn't afford it. And after all that I might have been going through a rough emotional time, but I pulled though too. And finally, I got a new job, my dream job really; which brings us here. But I always promised I wouldn't give up on this story. I just... took a long break. Here is the story... Again so sorry for the super late update... Comments, complaints, and tips are welcome. =)

_“Daddy! Mommy!” 5 year old Tony ran to his Mommy as soon as he spotted his parents in the living room. His Mommy and Daddy had gone on a trip to Malibu after Thanksgiving, and they’d been gone six days. It was weird for Tony since his parents always took him places. Jarvis had told him he was going to pick them up and then they’d be able to make the cookies he’d promised. But that thought was gone as soon as he saw his Mommy. His Mommy was holding his Daddy’s hand and she was smiling bright but there was something wrong in it. She let go of Tony’s Daddy and fell to her knees, she then opened her arms for her child. She picked him up as he jumped onto her arms. His Daddy ruffled his head and then looked at Jarvis._

_“Call Peggy.” Jarvis had a strange look when he nodded. Young Tony had no idea what was going on, so he ignored it in favor of hugging his mother._

_“Howard.” His Mommy called to his Daddy but Tony couldn’t see her looking at her Daddy; he couldn’t see the silent communication. But Tony heard his Daddy call to Jarvis who was halfway out the door._

_“And ask Anna to come please, I don’t want Tony here while we talk.” Tony turned to look at his Daddy, he’d never done that before. His Daddy always let him be in the room when he had to talk to grownups, even Obie. His Daddy always said that his mind was “overdeveloped for his age” and that meant that he could usually understand what the grownups meant, even if he didn’t always know all the words they used. His dad liked that because he would someday take over the company. Obie didn’t like it because he said he was too young and nosy for a kid, but his Daddy didn’t care._

_“Come on Tony.” His Mommy put him on the floor again and led him to the kitchen. He looked at his Daddy, he was staring at a picture of him and Mommy. That picture was on the table next to the door it was when his parents were a bit younger. Tony wasn’t even a baby then. He’s not sure where he was but his parents said that was awhile back so he didn’t need to worry about it. Once they got to the kitchen they waited for Jarvis to come back. Anna was behind him looking as confused as Tony felt. His Daddy looked mad, was his Mommy mad at his daddy? Is that why Tony wasn’t allowed to be in the room? Did Jarvis know what was going on?_

_“Anna, could you please take care of Tony for a while? Peggy, Maria, and I need to talk. We’ll fill you in later.” Anna looked at Jarvis and he nodded. Anna took Tony’s hand and started to walk away. Tony wanted to protest but his Daddy’s face said even if he did, it wouldn’t be heard._

_Once he was out of the kitchen he heard his Mommy call Anna back. Once she thought Tony couldn’t hear she told Anna something in a lower voice, “Please keep him away, and don’t let him hear. He’s too smart for this.” He heard Anna mumble a yes. Tony felt something run through him, not quite sure what it was, why were they keeping secrets from him?_

_Once Anna was back he pretended not to hear anything, but he had to know. He was already trying to think of a way to sneak back into the house since he was almost positive Anna was going to take him to the gardens. As it were, he was correct, 5 minutes later found him with Anna, tending to the bushes in the garden. It was mid-November and the air was getting chilled but it wasn’t too bad yet.. About 10 minutes later Jarvis walked out of the house, an obvious frustrated look on his face. Anna got up from the ground and walked to him and they stayed far enough to where they thought he wouldn’t hear. Careful to keep her voice down when she asked him what was wrong._

_“I’m afraid,” Jarvis glanced at Tony; of course; Tony didn’t see him since he was busy pretending not to be eavesdropping. “I’m afraid I am uninformed as to what is happening. Mister Stark has just asked me to keep you company until Ms. Carter is gone, she should be here in 10 minutes. Anna, they’re never like this… He tells me everything...” He stopped and looked at Tony again. The boy was still pretending to not be listening. “Anna, I don’t think this is business issues. Mr. Start has never had a problem discussing those in front of Tony... or me before. I have permission to withdraw his entire life savings from his bank account if the occasion arouse, for Christ’s sake. This isn’t business or money. He’d trust me with that. He trusts me with everything about his marriage too. Maria tells you everything. As it were I don’t think they doesn’t trust us, I just… He doesn’t want Tony to know.  But… I don’t know what this is.”_

_Meanwhile, Tony had already found a way to get back inside the house._

 

2 hour earlier. Around 4:30 p.m.

Sadly they were interrupted by Sam wanting to know more about the Howling Commandos, and then by Thor wanting to to know a little more about Red Skull or Schmidt or whatever. And then by Clint and Natasha wanting to check if the uniform was real. It wasn’t. It was a replica because Steve went down with the uniform on.

Finally, Steve got a break, “Do you still want to see Peggy? I think that we still have time, when are we supposed to go?”

“Whenever, don’t worry about that.” The party wasn’t until 7 p.m., give or take an hour, and so they had plenty of time. The Smithsonian had let Tony know that they would stay open until midnight if it made Steve happy. “Let’s go.”

They walked to a door labeled “Interviews from the Past” it was dark like a theater, yet nothing was playing on the screen. Then a timer appeared. 5... 4... 3... so it was on a sensor to begin play mode. Cool, Tony thought distractedly.

“How did you and Captain America meet?”

“Captain America and I met... during the war. He just appeared on top of the cage where the rest of the men who would become the Commandos and I were being held. Well most of us. Barnes wasn’t there. ‘Course he wasn’t that’s why Cap was there in the first place.” Tony was suddenly confused. Instead of a woman the person on the screen was an african American man. The name on the screen read “Gabriel Jones.”

“Steve, I’m not sure but something tells me this isn’t Peggy.” He said with a teasing tone.

“Oh, no. They show some interviews before hers. It only takes about 20 minutes I promise. Sorry.” Steve looked sheepish about it.

“Hey, that’s alright. All I want in life is to hear people brag about how good a friends they were with you.” He grinned.

“Tony, come on-”

“No really, Steve when I was ten, I’d have done anything to be like one of these people. To be able to say I met you. And here you are.” Tony smiled as he took a moment to let that sink in. He’d always had some vague memory of someone telling him that Steve would be a great friend to him always. And up to this day Tony believes that. Sometimes they fight and bicker but it’s all in good nature. In the blink of an eye all the interviews had gone by and now there was a woman. Dark brown hair, and pale skin. She was wearing a dark blue dress and she looked... Sad but at peace. But she also looked lovely. She reminded Tony of his own mother. She looked familiar.

**“Good morning!”**

Tony quicked a glance at Steve and saw his whole demeanor change. The Steve before him right now was different than the one that had walked in with him. This Steve was fidgeting with  his hands, he looked down every 3 seconds and his eyes looked glassy. The interview had barely begun and Tony was already afraid that Steve would start crying any second now.

**“-rly days of S.H.I.E.L.D… Today we’d, uh, we’d like to move on to-”**

**“Steve Rogers?”**

**“Yeah, yeah, Uh, what was uh your, your initial reaction when you heard about Project Rebirth?”**

Tony was intrigued, this  woman was going on with the interview even though you could already tell she didn’t really want to do this interview. She was smiling but faking it.

**“At first, correct me if I’m wrong but the intention was to create an entire army of super-soldiers, correct right?”**

**“Yes but, Rogers nearly made up for that discrepancy himself.”**

This was not news to Tony, and neither was the reason, tragic as it was, that the army of super-soldiers never came to be. Before he died his father had talked about Dr. Erskine every now and then saying that he was a good man and that Captain America really appreciated him. Tony had heard that his dad had  tried to recreate the Dr. Erskine’s formula but never really could. As he glanced at the man next to him he was glad for his father’s failure. Tony couldn’t imagine anyone who was better fit to carry the weight of the serum as Steve. He wondered, for a moment, what would have happened if it wasn’t just Steve, if it was an entire army. Steve would hardly be special then. But he was.

**“Many of his exploits are still classified.”**

**“Well, not every hero gets a parade. I think that’s how Rogers preferred it. Suffice it to say the world would be a very different place if he hadn’t been there to protect it.”**

Protect it.

Protect it.

_Protect it._

_“How? How did he find out about it Howard? How? We were supposed to protect it. YOU were supposed to protect it. What could he do with that information?” His Auntie was mad. Tony had never seen her that mad. He made it into the house again but he’d gotten to the study’s back door when his Auntie and Daddy were already discussing things._

_“Peg, I’ve known him for years. He wouldn’t dare disclose any information about what S.H.I.E.L.D really is to the media. It would compromise every agent, the whole company, us. He wouldn’t do that.” S.H.I.E.L.D. was the company his Daddy worked in with Auntie. Tony was sure of it._

_“Yeah? Then why did you call me if you trusted Stane?” Obie?_

_“Because…” Tony could see through the open crack in the door that his dad was looking at his mother. “Look I don’t trust him. I can’t. Not with the things I’ve seen him do for power. But he’s my friend.”_

_“If you can’t trust him Howard, then he is not your friend.” His Auntie, Tony knew, had never liked Obie but Tony didn’t realize it was this bad. “Howard he’s a piranha, a shark waiting to devour you as soon as you turn your back. As your friend I don’t want anything to happen to you because of him. Now that he has classified, sensitive information about S.H.I.E.L.D. that could get you killed then I trust him even less. You need to get him away from you, from your family.”_

_“Aren’t you being a little extreme Peggy? Like I said I Obadiah is my friend and we’ve known each other for years. He can be a little untrustworthy sometimes when it comes to money, but he would never reveal that information to anyone.” Auntie moved forward then, close enough to Daddy that Tony couldn’t see his face._

_“Howard, how did he get those documents? That type of information? How did he find out about the ongoing investigation of the Russian nuclear warehouse? How did he find out that you were nearly close to developing a copy of the serum? YOU How did he find out he knew about our Ghost? Better yet, how did YOU find out he knew those things? ” There was a pause. “Huh? How? How did you find out he knew?”_

_“I had… I had Maria break into his office while I distracted him with an unexpected meeting and she found copies of classified documents with S.H.I.E.L.D.’s stamp on it.” His mom? How did his Mommy break into an office? She always told Tony sneaking into places was wrong but she could do it?_

_“See. He hasn’t even told you. You had your wife go into agent mode again for this.”_

_“It was nice to know my skills are not as rusty as I thought.” This was the first time Tony had heard his mom talk the entire time he was at the door._

_“The point is you said you’d never do it again after Tony was born. Look at you.”_

_“Peggy just let me ex-” Tony saw his Mommy stand up, silencing his Daddy._

_“Peg, we don’t trust Obadiah, and we don’t want to believe he’d betray us and sell us out. But we know it’s a real possibility that he might do that.” Tony didn’t know what to believe. His parents didn’t trust Obie? “So we called you in because we need Agent Carter. Not Peggy.”_

_“What do you need?”_

_“I was able to find some of the information Stane had but I don’t know if that’s all there was. And we need a more… A retired agent can’t go in to retrieve everything. And besides I couldn’t move anything. I am sure he suspects that I had a background in special services. I have to be in his sight when the documents go missing and destroyed. Howard too. You have to retrieve the documents.”_

_“When?”_

_“The sooner the better.”_

_“Give me 36 hours. I need to find… I got some information on Dottie.” Tony saw his dad look up at that. Who was Dottie?_

_“Peg, it’s been years sinc-”_

_“I have to try Howard. I can’t let her… I’m not sure if it’s even her. I just heard wind of our Ghost. And quite honestly we have quite a few of those.”_

_“Ok, 36 hours. Follow your lead and then come back.” His daddy, Tony could tell, wasn’t too happy about it._

_“I can put another agent on the job and it could get done tonight.”_

_“No, it has to be you. And if he hasn’t done anything yet I don’t think 36 hours will make a difference.We can throw a party and invite him.” His Mommy said, but Tony wasn’t really following. This was all too much. Too much._

_“Right.” Auntie agreed, and started to move, it gave Tony a small panic attack that he might get caught. He was 100% sure he’d be grounded without tools for a week at the very least if Daddy and Mommy found out he was listening._

_“Another matter we wanted to attend to is… Tony.” Daddy spoke, making Tony’s breath catch, what about him?_

_“What about him?” Auntie froze mid step and turned to look at his parents. Tony could tell it was an angry stare even if he couldn’t see it._

_“If anything were to happen to us. We need you need to take care of him.”_

_“No. No. I would only be putting him in risk.”_

_“Peggy. “ Mommy had moved to Auntie and was touching her shoulder._

_“No, Maria, there’s a reason I don’t come visit as often as I used to. The world is getting more dangerous by the day. As far as I’m concerned there’s a price on my head in the Russian special services. I can’t possibly do that to Tony.”_

_“Jarvis then, but you’ll need to be there, look out and neutralize any threats that come too close to them. Jarvis has background but he’s not trained. You’ll need to stay for him. I know it’s a lot to ask, with your career.” His dad was going to continue but he was stopped._

_“Damn my career, what I’m be worried about is that Tony would one day catch a bullet intended for me!” Tony could hear the emotion in his Auntie’s voice and he couldn’t lie and say that what she’d just said didn’t scare him a little. Tony was also getting the feeling that this conversation was getting out of his parent’s hands._

_“We know you’d protect him Peg, and we trust nothing will happen to us, the documents will be gone in a day or two and everything will be fine. But if we are not fine, if anything happens to us… We need to know that you will be here and take care of Tony. That you will be watching his back. That you will take care of him along with Jarvis and Anna.” His Mommy was trying to persuade her. Why didn’t his Auntie want him though?_

_“I’m assuming that Jarvis’ name isn’t on the will?”_

_“No, not yet. But, to be fair, neither is yours. We made an appointment with the lawyers. We’re heading to Malibu again in a couple of weeks. We’ll get the will changed then. We also need to talk to Anna and Jarvis, tell them that in case of… well that they’d become Tony’s legal guardians. I do admit we’ve been a little… well that we’ve neglected putting down a name on the will because we don’t want to think about it but given the circumstances… I guess we were forced to think about it. And be-”_

_“They need to accept first sweetie.” His Mommy stopped him._

_“They’d never say no.” Auntie, Tony could tell, was smiling. Tony was scared they would say no to being his parents if something happened to Mommy and Daddy. Auntie just said no, why would they be any different?_

_“I know they wouldn’t.” His Mommy sighed and Tony could tell that the conversation was coming to an end.  “So it’s a plan then.”_

_“Yes, go follow our Ghost and then come back and get rid of the evidence from Obadiah’s office, make sure that no one was compromised.” Daddy told his Auntie._

_“Yes, you two talk to Jarvis and Anna, and get the will changed. And be careful.”_

_“We will Peggy.” His Mommy let his Auntie take her hand and pull her into a hug._

_“Fire him.” His Auntie told them as she let go of his Mommy._

_“I am considering… Cutting ties with him.” His dad cleared his throat and the room was silent for a moment._

_“Good.” The room was silent for another moment. “Can I go say hi to Tony?” As soon as Tony heard that he hurried down the hall and out the back into the gardens again. As he passed the living room he grabbed his Captain America action figure. When Jarvis found him saying he’d been looking for him, his story was that he’d dropped his action figure when they had exited the house and was looking for him, found him and got distracted playing with him._

_“You didn’t go in the house?”_

_“No.”_

_“Ok Master Tony, let’s make our way back to Anna, Miss Carter is here and I’m sure she’ll come to see you as soon as she’d done talking to your parents. Do you want to see her?”_

_“Yeah I want to see Auntie!” And Tony walked with Jarvis back to the gardens, scared for his parents, scared for his Auntie, and scared for himself. And a little hurt because his Auntie Peggy didn’t want him. But he knew Auntie Peggy loved him. “I want to see Auntie Peggy!”_

_\---_

“Oh God...” Tony blinked. He felt disoriented, a childhood memory hit him and it hit him like a ton of bricks. “Auntie… Peggy…”

“Tony are you ok? You look like you zoned out for a moment there.” Steve looked at him worriedly. “I’m sorry if you got bored. We ca-”

“Her name was Peggy.” Tony looked at the screen. Even though it was now on Gabriel Jones again, having restarted, he could only see the beautiful woman in the blue dress with kind sad eyes.

“Yes, Peggy, well her first name was ac-” Tony cut Steve off.

“My Aunt’s name. It was Peggy.” Steve glanced at the screen that showed Gabriel Jones. finishing his interview.

“Tony, ” But Tony didn’t hear the rest of what Steve was going to say. He bolted from the room. His heart pounding. He had to get out of there. He didn't know what to think. What to feel. He had to get out of there. His only thought was ‘ _Her name was Peggy. Auntie Peggy.._ ’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To explain some things, my canon is that Peggy and Howard got some leads on Bucky every now and then but since it was so vague and almost non-existent they didn't realize it was Bucky. The Ghost being him, but they think it's Dottie because... Russia. Good killer. Good rival they just assumed. 
> 
> Also, Tony, I think he would remember things because of his great brain. I think, while most people have detailed memories of their childhood starting at around 6 or 7, Tony would have memories from as young as 3. He built his first circuit board at 6. So I'm giving him detailed memories from the age of 3 and up, obviously the 3 and 4 year old memories a little more foggy than the 5 year old memories. Does this make sense? 
> 
> Can you guys tell me if this makes sense? Does it all still flow? It's been a while and I would really appreciate help. 
> 
> Also, I want to start a series that is heavily inspired by things that happen at my job. I work at a high school, I also graduated from there, so I am now coworkers with my former teachers and I get to see all the behind the scenes stuff that actually happens. So most of the stories are going to be inspired by things that actually happen here. Would anyone be interested in reading that? Let me know.


	15. Remembering Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The initial shock of the memory doesn't go well for Tony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is honestly just a filler chapter because I wanted to add more Anna and Jarvis and Peggy, even if just a little. Comments, complaints, and tips are welcome. =) I hope you all enjoy this.

Tony ran out of the Smithsonian and stopped a moment to catch his breath at the steps. He pulled out his phone and pressed his “Suit” button on it. _Auntie Peggy._ He looked around feeling a little disoriented. He needed to clear his head. Four minutes. The suit would be there in 4 minutes. He didn’t feel like moving. His heart hurt. _Auntie Peggy._ He needed to avoid Steve for 4 minutes. Just 4 minutes. _Auntie Peggy._

 

She was dead.

Was it really her?

Her smile.

Her voice.

She knew Steve.

Steve knew her.

He needed to avoid Steve.

3 minutes and 47 seconds.

He didn’t know her.

He didn’t remember her.

He wanted to remember her.

He had to get out of there.

He didn’t want to remember her.

He started running again.

Down the stairs.

3 minutes and 33 second

 

He heard the doors open behind him, he heard Steve yelling his name but he didn’t want to hear it. Steve was fast but then the doors opened again, even in his disoriented state, Tony heard Pepper exit the building, he heard her scream: “Tony! Steve!” He heard Steve stop. He heard him say something to Pep, probably something to excuse Tony’s stupid reactions but Tony didn’t. Couldn’t. He needed to get out of there. He needed to think. Steve was fast.

 

He set into a dead bolt, as fast as he could, but Steve was fast; Tony knew he wouldn’t outrun him. Tony heard Steve start to chase after him 10 seconds later, jogging down the stairs and past the Smithsonian steel sculpture. But Tony had already made it to the street. He dove in front of the cars on Independence Avenue just as the stoplight turned green. Steve stopped. He was fast but he was also cautious. Tony didn’t care if a car hit him at this point.

 

He ran along the sidewalk, he duly noted it was beside some sort of small park. He made his way to Maryland Avenue and hesitated for a second before jumping in between moving cars seconds after the light on that stoplight turned green too. They honked at him but he was thankful that the cars would stop Steve for a few seconds. He didn’t turn to look because he didn’t want to see how close behind he was. He ran his way along 6th St SW and saw a parking lot opening next to a Do Not Enter sign for cars.

 

He was about to go in there but he looked up and saw a Holiday Inn across the street, he ran his way towards it and came to a stop at the corner of C St SW and 6th St. He ran across and went into the Holiday Inn. He stopped a second to catch his breath and looked out the glass doors and saw Steve make it to the corner. He looked around and Tony hoped the reflection would be enough so that Steve wouldn’t see him. Steve pulled out his phone and Tony felt his own phone start to vibrate in his pocket. He didn’t have to guess who it was. After two more tries Tony saw Steve put away his phone and saw him turn left and run along C St SW. Tony walked out of the Holiday Inn and took to his left, opposite of where Steve had gone.

 

The suit should be here any second. He looked down at the timer on his phone 37 seconds. He walked along 6th St to not call attention to a running body. He learned something from Natasha. He came to a stop in front of a building that said “Public Parking” he went into the small paved opening next to it and stood beside the tracks. 17 seconds. Tony closed his eyes and rubbed his face. Some part of him felt like he over reacted. But too late for that now. He opened his eyes and saw the suit landing in front of him softly. Immediately opening up to him.

 

“Take me to the tower, J.” Tony said as soon as the suit closed back up completely.

 

“Sir, are y-”

 

“To the tower.” Tony didn’t bother raising his voice because he was so tired. Besides, Jarvis didn’t deserve it. He closed his eyes, trusting that Jarvis would keep the suit’s flight on auto-pilot.

 

_He was four years old, in the garden. It was warm, mid-July. He was laying on the grass in the gardens. They smelled nice. They were full of roses because his Mommy loved roses so much. His Mommy even wore rose perfume. The roses made the air smell nice, and while Tony liked it, it wasn’t his favorite scent. He liked the smell of the perfume Auntie wore. He couldn’t remember the name of the flow-_

_“What do you see there?” Anna asked him, breaking him out of his train of thought._

_“Hm… a horse.” He told her._

_“Many horses. Some white some black, some brown.” She responded. They were looking at the sky and trying to find shapes in the clouds. Jarvis had read him a story last night and in the story there had been a kid who looked for shapes in the clouds and Tony had said that sounded cheesy and boring. Anna had set out to prove him wrong today. They’d been out here at least 30 minutes but it wasn’t boring yet._

 

_“With hm… with… horseman.”_

 

_“Ooh, an army?”_

_“Yes! With many many horses, and shields and swords and-and-and all of it!” Tony was excited now._

_“What do their swords look like?” She asked, cupping her hands around her eyes to get a better look at the army Tony was describing._

_“They’re made of fire… and ice!”_  
  


_“Ice? That’s different. Won’t it melt in the sun?” Anna rolled to look at him and smoothed his hair in a loving way. Tony just let it happen._

_“No, the ice is magical. It is forever there.”_

_“Oh, yes I see, ice can be dangerous. What else do you see?”_

_“A plane.” He said looking at one of the clouds that was spread out. It really didn’t look like a plane but Tony wanted to see a plane. He’d been asking Anna to read to him about a woman named Amelia Earhart since he found out about her. He saw a special being played on the television commemorating her and he got interested._

_“Small or large? With people in it?” Anna asked rolling back again to look at the sky full of small fluffy clouds and a few thicker ones here and there._

_“It’s kind of- AUNTIE!” Tony sat up once he saw from the corner of her eyes the brunette he loved so much. She smiled at him with her perfect red lips and Snow White smile. He knew about Snow White because Jarvis read her that story a while back and they told her Snow White was beautiful and his Auntie’s smile was beautiful._

_He got up and hugged her and she picked him up._

_“Peggy! So nice to see you, Edwin didn’t tell me you were coming today.” Anna sat up, letting her skirt float around her in a semi-circle to cover her folded legs._

_“I didn’t tell anyone. I was in New York and thought to drop by and see how the renovations of the ‘Beautiful and Unique Stark Mansion’ were going.” His Auntie rolled her eyes and he knew she was quoting someone._

_“Mr. Stark was missing you?” Anna said smiling._

_“Of course he does, I’m a wonderful person. And his most patient bloody friend. Last time I saw him he ruined my pink dress. The sleeveless one with the lace collar.” She threw Tony up in the air and made him giggle all while she was complaining about his Daddy._

_“Oh, yes, Mr. Stark can get a little carried away with some of his experiments.” Anna was about to get up but Tony got an idea and shook his head to stop her._

_“No!” Tony kicked out so his Auntie would let him down. “No, Auntie do you want to see clouds with us for a little? Just a little.”_

_“Sure, why not. Howard deserves to be made to work to see me.” She smiled and lowered herself to the ground carefully. Her brown flowy dress laid out and she fixed it so she could lay on the grass with Tony and Anna. “So what are we looking at?”_

_“We’re trying to find shapes in the clouds. I thought it was going to be boring but it’s fun.” Tony said shifting so that he was comfortable between his Auntie and Anna._

_“Ooh, I see a tree house there!” His Auntie said pointing at a cloud that looked sort of like a blob and nothing like a tree house. Tony giggled._

_“Only if you need glasses Auntie!”_

_“Oi! I see a tree house! With flowers and everything!” His Auntie exclaimed while Anna laughed along with Tony._

_“Yes, and I see a bird!”_

_“Aaaaannaaaa! That IS a bird!” Tony giggled again, as a bird flew overhead, and looked like he was circling the ‘tree house’ because of the difference in perspective. His Auntie and Anna giggled too._

_“Ooh! I see a big grumpy giant about to destroy the tree house! Everyone watch out!” His Auntie pointed to his right and Tony turned his head to find his Daddy making his way over with Jarvis._

_“Auntie! That’s Daddy!” Tony burst into laughter as he got up. And made his way to his Daddy._

_“Lovely to see you’re complimenting my size Pegs.” His daddy smiled at his Auntie as she got up from the floor._

_“Howard! There are kids here!” She scolded him. Tony was a little confused why his Auntie was frowning a little, even if she was still laughing._

_“I was talking about how you called me a giant.” He daddy bent to pick him up._

_“Because that’s all you were implying Mr. Stark.” Jarvis said shaking his head and helping Auntie up from the ground and making his way to Anna._

_“What would Mrs. Stark say?” Anna said also shaking his head and dusting her skirt._

_“She would laugh and say something about how my only big feature is my mouth. Unlike you boring fellas. You’re all no fun.” His Daddy told them all while he spun Tony._

_“But Daddy you’re so tall, and your hands are so much bigger than mine too!” Tony said between giggles._

_“See what you do Howard.” His Auntie was now shaking her head too as she started to walk towards the house._

_“Oh, fine, let it go now, lets go inside and not tell your Mommy about me being a giant, ok Tony.” They all made their way inside._

_“Ok Daddy!” he kicked out to be let down. “Race ya, Auntie!” He went off in a sprint. Hearing his Auntie quickly take off her shoes and throw them at his Daddy and follow quickly after him._

 

“Sir!” Tony opened his eyes. “Sir?” That was Jarvis. In his ear. God, he felt nauseous. But it wasn’t something that started at his stomach. This kind of sick started at his heart.

 

“Hey J, why all the screaming?” He felt like he’d fallen asleep. He sort-of did. He was thrown into a flashback. _Anna… Jarvis… Dad… Auntie Peggy._

 

“Sir we’ve been here for 3 minutes and you haven’t moved. Is it alright if I start to dismantle the suit now?” The A.I. was worried but he didn’t seem to want Tony to realize it.

 

“Yes, Jarvis. That would be alright.” Tony felt it all fall apart around him. Just like his life seemed to. “I need…” He was on the roof. He needed to get to his studio. He took a deep breath to steady himself and started to make his way to the elevator. He’d been quiet for a minute and then his friend spoke up as the doors to his safe place opened.

“What do you need, Sir?”

 

“I need everything you can find on Agent Margaret Carter. Everything. Known friends. Job. Family. Everything.” He took off his vest. He took off his shoes and sat on a chair that faced one of the glass monitors. He closed his eyes.

 

“Sir, another thing. Captain Rogers has requested the Jet to go to DC and pick them up.” Tony heard the question in there. _What happened?_

 

“Yeah go ahead and fly the jet over. But on the flight back, give me some time. Go commercial flight speed. Override all other orders.”

 

“Sir…” The fact that Jarvis didn’t finish that told him how bad his readings were.

 

“Just do it Jarvis. I’m not… I need a minute. I need more than a minute.”

 

“May I suggest some tea from the top right cabinet on the left wall, Sir? Your reading indicat-“

 

“I know, J. I know. I have elevated everything. But… I forgot. Ok, I forgot.” Tony dropped his shoulders and head and leaned against the desk. He wasn’t going to cry. He wasn’t.

 

“What did you forget, Sir?” The voice reminded him so much of Jarvis. Edwin. It wasn’t the same tone but the accent was the same. And the care was the same. With the difference of the _Sir_ and not _Master Stark_. Always Master. Never Mister. His dad was _Mister Stark_ , and, no matter how old he got, Tony was always _Master Stark_ or _Master Tony_. Sometimes even _Young Master Stark_. Except in the end. In the last few hours, before Edwin passed, it was Tony.

 

_I love you Tony. Don’t cry Tony. I know Tony. My sweet young boy. It’s alright Tony. My sweet Tony. My lovely Tony. Tony. You were my son Tony, I don’t care what the legal papers said. You were my baby boy Tony._

Not Anthony. Not Stark. Not Master Stark. Not Master Tony. And thank God not Mister Stark. Just Tony.

 

“All of it. I don’t know how much. How could I forget her? How could I forget anything to do with Jarvis or Anna? My dad? My mom?... Was it just Carter or how much did I forget? I never wanted to forget Jarvis or Anna. But I think I erased somethings. What did I do? How much did I delete? _Why?_ ” And he was crying. Damn. He wasn’t supposed to cry. After a few moments of silence where the A.I. gave him a moment to calm down and didn’t say anything he spoke in a soft tone.

 

“I have all the files I found on Agent Margaret Carter ready to be view. There are some filed I’m trying to gain access to on some private servers.”

 

“Thank you, J. Thank you. Let me see what you have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, The way I found the time was this way… Avengers tower is in 200 Park Avenue, in our world this is also known as the MetLife building. The Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum is 229 miles from there. That is 368.54 kilometers. If the fastest Iron Man suit in Age of Ultron travels at 5976 kilometers per hour then it would make it to the Smithsonian in 3.70 minutes from Avengers tower. I rounded up to 4 minutes. I used this (https://www.omnicalculator.com/other/speed) to check my math and it seemed accurate enough. Google Maps helped me see where Tony was running. You guys ever take a Google stroll through DC? I would completely recommend it.  
> Another thing, the last chapter I write some excerpts from Peggy's interview. If anyone wanted to see the full version it's right here: (http://captioned-miscellaneous-videos.tumblr.com/post/138890247114/peopleareaproblem-roboticonography)  
> Any questions go for it. I'm working on the series I told you all about. I'll try not to be gone for long but I still don't have internet so hopefully it won't be long.


End file.
